Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was supposed to fly home for my dad's funeral, but the woman in the seat next to me was so obese, her bulging flesh left absolutely no way for me to sit in my seat. I complained to the stewardess, who then forced me to leave the plane just for raising my voice in frustration. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Today, I noticed while sitting on my office chair, my belly is now large enough to touch my thighs. I'm not pregnant, I just ate my feelings for the past few years, and gained about 20kg in total. I've never felt so much self-loathing as I do right now, and I'm too ashamed to ask for help. FML
Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML
Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML
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Top comments
amerwin 3
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Dust yourself off, and create a gameplan to shed some lbs.
cavalos94 0
dude that's your own damn fault. if you're unhappy with your body, go on a diet.
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Comments (127)
amerwin 3
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Dust yourself off, and create a gameplan to shed some lbs.
thatonename 7
very well put sir. my thoughts exactly.
kristelle_fml 0
finally. something that isn't soft or rude. props to you.
slushpup9696 12
+5 Internets, my good man.
IdontWanna69 8
It's okay fatty, maybe a donut will make you feel better?
uffiewuffie 0
bitch Imma cut u..
LunaNstars 0
you told him!
xXLaurenLustXx 8
Wtf, really? Did saying that make you feel any better?
CrazyLaughs4Me 17
I am a terrible person for laughing at this, almost hate myself. You're a jackass.
jordanprodigy023 0
Dude you need to man up stop denying your fatness and take control of the situation. I can't stand people who always deny there fatty self until something drastic happens. YDI fatty
PeteyPablo12308 20
Aww... Well maybe you will start to make some changes now. Both FYL and YDI.
jordanprodigy023 0
YDI fatty
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Dude, man. You're fat, bro. D: that sucks homie, man I'd hate to be that fat, dude. Totally, bruh! Good luck wit that, man!
atomicbaboon 0
you said it bro.
brittanyg93 0
I agree bro, even though your grammar sux. lol.
ChrisLTC 3
Um why do they even bother with seatbelts on planes? If you smash into the ground at 800 kph (500 mph for my non metric system hethan friends) a little piece of fabric across your waist isn't going to help out much!
mattfim 0
23 it's more for turbulence and hitting air pockets (where the plane drops fast) so everyone doesn't smack their heads on the roof etc
margie4peace 11
Yes, we are heathens, aren't we? More like stupid heathens. Americans are just too set in their ways to "handle" such a change, even if it's easier! :-)
LolFYLS 0
I just threw up a little in my mouth from looking at 69's picture
Zebidee 9
They're used for accident investigations. It's easier to figure out who's who if the bodies are still strapped into their assigned seats. Seriously though, turbulence and the vast majority of accidents happening at slower speeds is the reason. Nothing is going to save you if your plane spears into the ground like a ******* dart, but in most accidents it makes a massive difference. You could add another huge survivability factor by mandating shoulder harnesses, but airline passengers are such whiners about stuff like that, plus they're expensive to fit.
Zebidee 9
The brace position is designed to reduce the injury from headstrike. It's the reason you grab your knees if you're in a row without a seat in front of you - your head is going there anyway in an accident, and if you put it there first, it reduces the inertia, decreasing the injury. Injury from flying debris isn't taken into account when certifying passenger seat restraints (although it is with stowage of heavy objects in the cabin). The main reason for not putting inertia reel shoulder harnesses in heavy jets is that there's nowhere to attach them. In light aircraft it's been mandatory since 1986 (from memory) to have shoulder harnesses fitted to all the seats in light aircraft, but it's impractical for airliners. The current standard high-g seats shouldn't break free in an accident, but there comes a point at which the aircraft sustains so much damage, that's irrelevant. There are some seats in light planes or corporate jets where the inertia reel is integrated into the seat itself, but that's not a great design and adds dramatically to seat weight and bulk. The most recent advance in passenger restraints is the introduction of lap-belts with an inbuilt airbag. They're a pain in the ass to maintain, but they do reduce injuries in an accident.
atomicbaboon 0
I respected #53's comment until he called OP a lard-arse. WTF dude.
2010smhill2010 0
its ok Op...just think about how you will never have to sit next to anybody on long flights
tahvoh 3
that sucks:/ Cheer Up and get your ass on a Diet:P
ImmortalKratos 0
don't stop at the ass. he should put his whole body on a diet
2010smhill2010 0
at least you wont have to sit next to anybody on long flights