Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML
Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
Today, I was sick in bed with a nasty flu. It was also the day my bird was eaten by an animal that had silently burrowed into the cage while I was recovering. FML
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML
Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML
Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
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Top comments
Crazion 26
I think someone killed your bird. Just a hunch.
Red_Curls1995 28
Well they only mimic what they hear so I think it's safe to say someone killed your lovebird.
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Comments (48)
beeferjay 34
its safe to say your parrot is from the streets. thug life
Kiernan151 25
the parrot didn't kill the bird. The parrot heard someone say they killed it.
BlackBoyFly 11
I guess jokes aren't a thing on this app.
Dean__Winchester 16
Polly want a crack-at-her?
gracehi 33
Well, *I* thought it was funny.
M3DO 24
Either someone is messing with you or your parrot overheard a conversation about the bird
Lalala579121 28
Or the parrot is possessed by a demon.
M3DO 24
Or the parrot actually killed the bird and now is confessing it to OP before he kills him/her
awesumous 16
Someone killed your bird and your other bird hear them admit it. Everyone who has been in your house since your bird died is not a suspect. Good luck finding the murderer.
sturschaedel 27
It was Mr. Green in the pool house with the rope.
greekk 21
Do you mean everyone who has been in the house since the bird died IS a suspect? might not be many people Also sounds like part of a phone conversation so it could be someone who has been in the op house alone for a short time or on the phone near the cage whilst op is busy
twaring11 11
Its like a horror movie for birds
Emma1562 35
The love is not in the air
hellnosucka 27
ah yes, the old bird intrigue and scandal...
gracehi 33
I read your comment in Ron Swanson's voice and it was magical.
amsterdamgirl 20
I'm sorry but that's hilarious ? creepy, but hilarious
mrfranchize 13
Especially because the bird said it at midnight, probably thought the owner was asleep.
guttedbrit 26
this gave me shivers! :(
wordygirl 11
Parrots only repeat what they hear. Knowing that, your bird didn't kill the other bird. If you own a parrot you should be aware of the mimicking they do.
Demon_of_Light 27
I believe that's the FML here. Someone had to say the phrase in order for the bird to hear and repeat it, so who was in OP's house that killed the bird?