Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML
Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML
Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
Today, I was sick in bed with a nasty flu. It was also the day my bird was eaten by an animal that had silently burrowed into the cage while I was recovering. FML
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
Today, I was woken up by a bird screaming its guts out. My cat had somehow managed to catch a bird and bring it inside. My 9 a.m. morning began with trying to catch a bird in my own home. FML
Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML
Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up, and attacked my face. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML
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Top comments
Crazion 26
I think someone killed your bird. Just a hunch.
Red_Curls1995 28
Well they only mimic what they hear so I think it's safe to say someone killed your lovebird.
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Comments (48)
abnormaalz 7
probably someone threw him out of the window and learned ur parrot that sentence
ThrottleJockey 36
*Squawk* Polly is a psycho! *squawk*
brendejafulable 41
I'm just glad it didn't end saying you live alone.
spideryann_fml 8
Most likely a friend of yours, alone at your place, who killed him by accident and, horrified, said that sentence out loud... many times...
SoBeSatan 22
Polly wants vengeance. No crackers for that bird!
feven 32
I'm telling you. Birds are evil.
whatteverr889 5
Parrots mimic what they hear but what people don't know is that they do have a mind of their own and can form sentences without hearing them.
geekpower_fml 28
True that. People can look up Irene Pepperberg's papers on this if they don't believe you.
sunflower_seal 17
Maybe a roommate / friend taught it the sentence to scare you
writerchic85 26
My parrot said "I'll kill you" to me once. But I'm pretty sure my boyfriend taught it to him.
aeryn97 17
sounds like someone may have killed your bird. :/