Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML
Today, I wanted to wake up my sweetheart with a surprise blowjob. He surprised me as well with a knee to the stomach. FML
Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML
Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house. Expecting to get a little action, I was surprised to find that he had fallen asleep while I was showering. I spent my night watching television and browsing the internet while he snored. Loudly. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
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Top comments
livewire1701 8
Undoing someones pants while they're asleep isn't romantic. He's a guy you could have just woken him up and told him you were horny.
rockhound 0
It was a knee-jerk reaction. It happens to the best of us.
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Comments (107)
brutalbeauty1014 2
lol a ******* is romantic now?
teggman93 0
yea it is did u not get that e-mail blast?
Privations_fml 3
Just because he's a guy doesn't mean you can't rape him. Never do anything like that without consent.
vanaathiel 13
You weren't feeling romantic, you were feeling horny
detolicious 2
I approve of your definition of 'romantic'
misfitgirl19 0
stupid serves u ritr
willsohn 0
you don't gotta put "feeling romantic" if you were feeling romantic you woulda lit candles tell the truth "feeling horny" :)
vanilla2u 5
Op you pervert! xD lol
prince122 0
I would lovvveee that. to wake up to head. yeeeeaaaaahhhhhh.
teggman93 0
I must agree
brunettebaby98 0
haha ur eye must hurt
iluhvyoohbooh 0
should have waited for him to wake up first !XD