Today, after stopping to pick up dinner at a fast food joint, I got a nosebleed. I immediately reached into the bag to grab napkins and began stuffing them up my nose, only to find out too late that a mustard packet had burst in the bag. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Today, I sneezed hard while eating some quite spicy potato chips at my friend's house. Some of the chips passed to the nasal cavity, and I ended up having to pick my nose for some pointy, spicy chips shrapnel. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML
Today, on my lunch break, I was walking to my car balancing 3 tacos, soda and napkins. A gust of wind blew my napkins up the street. In my attempt to catch them, I tripped onto the sidewalk. The tacos landed inside a car. Its owner came out just in time to see me standing next to their dash covered in salsa and lettuce. FML
Today, one of my nostrils became completely blocked. At lunch time, I went out to my car to dig into my nose. When I finished, I held up the cornflake sized booger in victory. I noticed too late that my boss was in a car adjacent to me, shooting me a horrified look. FML
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
Today, while eating a Subway sandwich, I was watching a comedian on TV. As he said his signature line, I laughed hysterically and accidentally snorted a jalapeño into my nose. I spent the next 5 minutes trying to snort out the little piece that got lodged into my nostril. FML
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Top comments
species4872 20
You mustard hated that.
stargate9591 2
I seriously doubt they had the time to check with their nose bleeding and all.
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Comments (16)
Veritas1990 3
That's why you check it first? lol
stargate9591 2
I seriously doubt they had the time to check with their nose bleeding and all.
DeathlyVortex 0
Wait so are you saying that you put a mustard covered napkin up your nose? Or just that the mustard just burst all over your food?
dabaerju 23
Hmm, I wonder why this is an FML.. Oh, I know!
species4872 20
You mustard hated that.
TheEpicKitten 20
Why the dislikes? #1 is right
awildwhisper 30
The dislikes for #1 are because if you have a nosebleed, you don't stop to think before you get tissues. You usually panic and grab whatever you can without looking.
bigred121970 10
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ouch. That sucks.
moondoglou420 17
If you have a nosebleed the answer is not to poupon your nose.
MiraRose 20
Lies, you poupon EVERYTHING!
jcash52426 5
Bloody mustard sound like that might burn your nose.
LyricaSilvan 30
I actually flinched; just the thought of that sensation is unbearable.
MiraRose 20
Oh my goodness!! You poor thing!
MiraRose 20
Oh my goodness!! You poor thing!