Today, after spending a lot of money on photo shoots to build up my portfolio, I finally got an offer from a modelling agency. I ran outside to tell my parents, only for my brother to hurl an iced snowball straight into my face. I now have a huge gash over my cheek and nose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML
Today, I finally put my Christmas lights up. In the process, a branch from the bush in my yard smacked me in the face, giving me a very noticeable scar on my nose. I have a photo session tomorrow. FML
Today, I told my mom that I wanted professional head-shots done for Christmas. When asked why, I said "I want to submit them to a modeling agency." My mom exchanged looks with my sister before laughing so hard that she wet herself. FML
Today, trying to be cute, my boyfriend threw a snowball at me. This would have been fine had it not been hard enough to break my glasses. As a college student, I have to choose between eating for the next two weeks or replacing them. FML
Today, I went sledding with my friends. I said I was tired and didn't want to go, but they press-ganged me into it. I ended up sledding right into a tree, fracturing my leg, and scraping up my entire face. FML
Today, it was snowing. I slipped on the ice and fell in the middle of the road, dislocating my left shoulder and knee. As I was screaming in pain and trying to stand up, two boys on the pavement threw snowballs at me while everyone in the cars just drove around me. FML
Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML
Today, I was making a snowman with my little cousin. I was collecting snow just outside the house, when out of nowhere a snowball struck me in the back of the head and caused me to headbutt the wall. I woke up a short while later to a medic telling me I had a nasty concussion. Thanks, cousin. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, I made my first snowman ever, and then cried when my big brother kicked it to pieces. I'm 27. FML
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Top comments
howdeedoo 22
You should return the favor....with rocks
FlamingTacos 7
Time to use A LOT of makeup there
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Comments (154)
FlamingTacos 7
Time to use A LOT of makeup there
kewlkate 9
It turns black and it looks even more disgusting. Bad idea.
MeLikeBigBoom 8
And photoshop...
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Makeup over an open gash wouldn't be the most effective and god damn that would hurt! Sucks, OP! Better hope it doesn't scar.
Brett41 10
Beauty hurts.
Hypertudism 15
It's destiny. Fate just doesn't want you to be a model
howdeedoo 22
I would think that it's OP's brother and not fate...
Chris455 8
It's fate that OP's brother would do that. :P
ABrokenHeart 11
What of by some weird chance the brother's name was Fate...
80skid 15
#2 She got an offer from a modeling agency. Date didn't cause this; the dick move from her brother did.
awaydoggy 8
ur comment was buried, fate doesn't want it to be alive
awesomeman10 6
It would be fate if as she was running to tell her parents an icicle fell and hit her.
sens3sfailing 25
That's called chance. Fate is made up
Paris25_fml 11
If you want to be critical... There are studies that suggest 'chance' is not real and that fate is real, or at least that everything is connected and nothing happens just by some random chance.
docscientist 10
Lol, 126, no there is not any study suggesting fate is real...
thatguynamedsky 32
yab yab fate yab yab
mackdeezy 22
You could still be a hand model.... no?
lilhellian 27
Yup and her boyfriend is going to be so happy, he's going to give her '"hand lotion" when she wakes up..
princessbits 17
15- Why use lotion when she has her mouth ?
lilhellian 27
I'm curious, do people not get the reference or is it just bad?
howdeedoo 22
I think people don't get the reference
poccocurantes 7
I have a job for her.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Oh stop being a wanker guys, were not strangers here! No need for lotion though, just a secondary sleepy conscience
Werken247 14
@15 some of us perv... um... intelligent people get the reference. As for the rest of them, just wet on the legs of their favorite chair.
decidedlyvague 11
It puts the lotion on its skin. It does what it's told.
howdeedoo 22
You should return the favor....with rocks
watermelon1 35
I'd probably kick my brother in his "iced snowballs" if he did that to me.
ICastillo 25
She can trick him by putting a rock inside the snowball, so he thinks it's not going to hurt and then.... Pow!! right in the kisser. Missing a tooth and crying like a baby.
ShyAnn29 15
Or she can throw a football at his nose. (that's a Brady Bunch reference)
roseB_fml 2
LOL I was just going to say 'oh, my nose!'
Forlorn420 9
life goes on I suppose
Bright_Lights 14
This comment will get thumbed down I suppose...
SliceOfCake 9
5 - that comment could be inserted for every FML ever made.
daniel_dd31 13
I would give him the beating of a lifetime.
Beeftinkle 13
Seriously, that is not something i would forgive, hit back hard!
iTag_Skorn 4
There's always ****. It's basically the same thing except the guilt you feel after your career is over
klol_fml 11
and you would know...how?
CyborgBanana 12
Let's hope she doesn't get tricked to going on the 'Backroom casting couch' if she decides to go that route.
howdeedoo 22
7-and the fact that you are having sex with many different people
ICastillo 25
#42 And the fact that she will need to wear depends after her career is over.
X_Codes 11
@45 - I am split between asking you to clarify and not at all wanting you to clarify. I mean... you DO realize that's a different hole, right?
poccocurantes 7
You don't want him to clarify.
thatonename 7
88 needs to watch more **** and realize that in this place, every exit is also an entrance. Hurray for family guy references.
Brett41 10
Yeah, cause smiling at a camera ...and having unprotected sex with a stranger in front of the camera are practically the same thing.
seandoc 13
There goes your dreams, all crushed away, like being hit by a snowball on a weekday.
iluvevil01 11
That's so deep *wipes away fake tear*
ChefPhilly 13
Your pic....
itssjulia 13
Your pic is scary bro...
seandoc 13
My picture just makes my comment 10x better, doesn't it?
hama806 19
Get to a plastic surgeon immediately! They may be able to make it not as obvious. If not, many models make it with flaws.
Bibliovore 26
#9: I'm not sure why your plastic-surgeon suggestion is being voted down -- it could actually help. When a friend fell and cut her face, the emergency room called in a plastic surgeon, who stitched her wound up very, very neatly; the resultant scar is all but invisible. While this wouldn't necessarily help for a photoshoot next week, it could very well make the cut heal more quickly and cleanly, which could help for a shoot in a month or three and certainly with a later modeling career. (It could help even if the wound was long enough ago that stitches would no longer help; a plastic surgeon could at least give available options.)
hama806 19
My comment was based on my own experience. While not a model, I too had a bad facial cut. I went to the ER where they got the best in-house plastic surgeon to stitch me up. You can barely see a scar.
CharresBarkrey 16
I thumbed this down before you edited it, my bad. And I only did so because you had just said "Get to a plastic surgeon," and I thought, "That's not going to heal OP any faster."
hama806 19
96- i was speaking like the medical professional I am. I forgot where I was.
CharresBarkrey 16
104 - You really shouldn't make assumptions like that, especially without knowing what my career is. Not to mention there is a trauma surgeon who frequently comments here.
hama806 19
143- I wasn't trying to insult you or anyone else. Sorry you took it that way.
theannak 7
Wait a week or two, so he forgets all about it. During the week or two, plan revenge. After he's forgotten about it, put your plans into action...
lilhellian 27
There is no better revenge then when they least expect it!
GothickNihilist 15
Caramel in the showerhead = sweet revenge. :3
lilhellian 27
I have not tried that one yet, thank you for the idea.. *Is becoming an evil lil puppy*
poccocurantes 7
Purple dye in the shower head.
Rosie_Posie43 12
Purple dye in shampoo
HowieDoIt 21
Arsenic in the ham? Too far, perhaps.
roseB_fml 2
your comment made me laugh
roseB_fml 2
I meant that for #84, though I found all of these funny.
etchsanity1 11
Epicac in his soda laxatives in the chocolate and take him to his favorite movie with his crush ...
DanielleinDC 34
Nair in his shampoo. Poison ivy in his dresser.