Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML
Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my batshit crazy neighbor, who’s repeatedly threatened to steal my dog. I finally got her ass on camera. She swears that my dog is being abused because it prefers to sleep outside instead of being in the house. Imagine that, an animal that likes being outside. FML
Today, after house sitting for my neighbor, I realized that he has a camera pointed at my pool. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML
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Top comments
CAPTmok 7
Good thing...... now call the cops
MzKylz 0
I would go n shit on his doorstep then.. lol
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Comments (146)
CAPTmok 7
Good thing...... now call the cops
Chaosinferno 4
Agreed
iSitt 0
aids poop
pvthill 0
at least he didn't shat on ur car
AsianCookie247 14
Ew..
missory_missouri 0
No! Don't call the cops yet! Observe his pooping schedule for a few days, THEN call the cops! BUT, tell them that there's a guy planting bombs in your front yard and your scared you'll step on one! Then just as he's squatted to do his 'business', the cops will come with their guns out, sirens going off, and they'll be yelling at him to pull his pants up! See if your neighbour ever poops again!
muhaidib 2
cocaine is a hell of a drug
CommonSenseKarma 17
This brings back some classroom memories. I learnt in US History that cops are actually Communists. Oh, and so is Jesus Christ. In fact, most of our authority figures are Communists. Don't you just love public school?
WhyCantIDoRight 5
omfg I would seriously do that! lol
peppermintpink 11
#81 I love your idea... devious... mwahahaha... OP.. you should do that....
peppermintpink 11
Sorry, I meant #88
CAPTmok 7
Good thing...... now call the cops
Ranimal 12
So? Go tell his junkie ass, don't be scared.
SadikOnuska 0
The dude is on heroin, be scared.
fkeeler1266 0
i agree ^^
Anfarwal 10
#3 Why do you assume he hasn't done anything about it? lol
joliesbebes 0
yuck. how you were not able to tell the difference between dog and human sized poops ? :-/
purple_sarah88 0
I have 2 Akitas, theirs are bigger than mine!
joliesbebes 0
eww! lol. that's probably true. I was thinking op might live around small Chihuahuas or something...
kayla672 0
we are both carnivores / omnivores therefore similar looking fecal matter. *gags*
Alphafat 0
That sucks, but that's funny as hell XD
techweed 12
can't you tell the difference between dog shit and human shit?? :-)
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
prolly just thought it was dog shit cause normally you wouldn't suspect a neighbor going into your yard to take a dupe.
ImWinning 0
haha that guy is funny. he should stop heroin and start getting high on the drug called Charlie Sheen..... WOW WINNING
munchkin10014 0
25, it's a heroin addict. His shit probably looked like dog shit for all we know. lmfao
MzKylz 0
I would go n shit on his doorstep then.. lol
pimpcakes2 11
Agreed, definitely shit on his doorstep multiple times!
that1guyyy 12
and put it in a paper bag and light it on fire?
MrLaryRottweila 1
go shit in his cardboard house
MichaelGood 0
Hahahaha
BabyBlaze 0
I like your picture.
john7h567hgrd 0
Wait... babyblaze aren't you a lesbian?
FuttBuck 0
She's probably Bi...WINNING
CryMoreFMLs 15
Wait... Aren't you a stoner? Looks like you need to spit that joint out and quit creepin' on girls on FML.
tweak111 0
#48 LMFAO
flickyourbic1223 7
48 made my dau
cptmorgan15 2
Chill guys, I'm pretty sure she was talking about the "I'm with stupid" pic.
vettle 6
oh your picture is just perfect with the banana above you lol!
jonverdevex 0
lucky. if I had the opportunity I would shoot his ass with a paint ball gun
MyNameIsBruce 0
That's wierd...
T3P33_fml 0
or, shoot him in the balls with a tazer. Who the hell said Socipath? WHO!! *gets really pissed of over the internet and kills 15peoples with a fork*
djsquintz 0
no one did. you're not mr edgy like you apparently think
FruitCakeSally 0
I'd use a real gun
ruben_A_ruiz 0
Ewww doesnt a persons poo look different from a dogs though, just sayin
T3P33_fml 0
yeah cuz when you find poo in your yard you're going to smell it, and mesure it to see wether it belongs to a human or a dog.
taniamw 9
What normal person sits and examines the difference ?
Happygofucky 0
Lmfao, the joys of junkies. I'd scoop it up and throw all of his own shit at his front door :) He is probably too ****** up to notice anyways.
MaximilianMarche 0
Tyron's fourhundred thousand dollar crack party. ( itches his neck) - Dave Chappell haha
babymaee 0
hahaha couldn't agree more!