Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see whose dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML
Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML
Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my batshit crazy neighbor, who’s repeatedly threatened to steal my dog. I finally got her ass on camera. She swears that my dog is being abused because it prefers to sleep outside instead of being in the house. Imagine that, an animal that likes being outside. FML
Today, after house sitting for my neighbor, I realized that he has a camera pointed at my pool. FML
Today, I wanted revenge on my neighbor, whose dog craps in my yard, so I spent a day at the dog park gathering up dog shit. I piled it up by the property line and ran over it with the mower, intending to spray his driveway and car with turds. Instead, it gummed up the mower. Now it stinks too bad to fix. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML
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Top comments
CAPTmok 7
Good thing...... now call the cops
MzKylz 0
I would go n shit on his doorstep then.. lol
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Comments (146)
mustangdude44 0
how is this an fml?? all u said was u caught ur neighbor crapping on ur lawn... this isn't an fml
skulluks 0
I hope you donkey punched him.
roryrobotic 5
whose*
mgates27 3
shoot him in the ass with a paintball gun
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
haha agreed
Miss_Random 0
Ah yes, because if I found a pile of shit in my front yard I would think "Oh, my neighbor's toilet must be broken or drugged out on heroin." Of course OP is going to assume it was a dog ******** in his yard! Dog shit and human shit look very much alike. And OP, call the cops.
tboudre 0
I want to do the same thing. one reason I don't have a dog is that I don't like crap in my yard & I don't like picking up crap. now, I hope it IS a dog!
xdust 4
one word "blackmail" or is that two words?
Sargasm 4
That's racist! OP never mentioned that the shitter was black.
tangerine_12 0
you're ******* dumb. i hope to God you were being sarcastic
aback 5
Go rub his nose in it.
SassiestLemon 2
You would think he'd be suspect #1.