Today, my school told us that we all need to be checked and treated for threadworms. So now I need to go tell my girlfriend that she needs to be checked and treated for threadworms. We have been dating for little over a week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's been about year since I had worms. They're easy to treat but I told no one because I was so embarrassed. Was my house unclean? Was my food undercooked? Cue months of paranoia. Today my parents told me that their cat had worms last year. The same cat they asked me to cat-sit for two weeks. No one told me. FML
Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML
Today, I had to make a doctor's appointment for my daughter. Apparently she thought it would be better to wipe herself with Clorox tough scrub disinfecting wipes than tell me she'd caught an STD. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML
Today, my wife’s unending cheapness and need for a “deal” has bitten us in the ass. Literally. She accepted a bag of clothes from a coworker and yup, you guessed it, it was infested with fucking bedbugs. Now our whole house has them, and all she said was, “At least the clothes can be washed.” FML
Today, I found out I have a yeast infection, a bladder infection, and a urinary tract infection all at the same time. Oh, and I also have the flu. FML
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Top comments
Inkoseh 33
Okay...? Tell her that your school advised you that theres a threat of threadworms, and that you have to be tested, and you're scared if you have it, it transferred to her. What is the bfd? Is it cause you're in gradeschool?
Razell 13
What kind of hygenic practices does your school have that the entire place is at risk of catching intestinal parasites?
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
There’s no such thing! A real epidemic is earworms. Just listen to Kylie Minogue’s “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” and that’ll fix you!
Razell 13
What kind of hygenic practices does your school have that the entire place is at risk of catching intestinal parasites?
blondie45 21
Threadworms are transmitted by human to human and dog to human contact. Better to be safe than sorry and it’s advised that everyone deworms themselves every three months as a preventative measure. I’d say the school is practicing very safe hygiene!
Razell 13
I looked threadworms up. Apparently, thoroughly scrubbing yourself down during your daily ablutions is sufficient to prevent the spread of the parasite, as is washing your hands after you use the bathroom or pet an animal. "Regular deworming" is not good hygenic practice. "Regular deworming" is what you do after someone has <i>utterly failed </i>at good hygenic practice.
blondie45 21
Good luck with getting an entire school full of kids (and many teachers!) to thoroughly scrub themselves and their hands regularly. Worms spread. Fact. Deal with it.
Inkoseh 33
Okay...? Tell her that your school advised you that theres a threat of threadworms, and that you have to be tested, and you're scared if you have it, it transferred to her. What is the bfd? Is it cause you're in gradeschool?