TomatoGuts

miss

0
Followed

0
Followers

10
Badges!

16
Comments

1529
Visits

14
Favorites

., Djibouti.
28 years-old
Monday 21 July 1997
Not specified

A propos de Tomatoguts

Well howdy there. Not sure why you decided to stumble into my profile, but you wasted your time and there's nothing here worth reading.

Tomatoguts - Followers

Tomatoguts - Followed

Tomatoguts's page visits

lovers5201

squeakman9...

amishaaa

Marie1994

fuckvdm

whoaxoxwhi...

michaelm12...

kissmeImaw...

knightofda...

Jae_Hellyu...

Jake42100

marulicko

Fucked!

knightofda...

j1130174s

Tomatoguts's FML badges

2_badgename

2_badgedesc

62_badgename

62_badgedesc

60_badgename

60_badgedesc

52_badgename

52_badgedesc

28_badgename

28_badgedesc

24_badgename

24_badgedesc

18_badgename

18_badgedesc

63_badgename

63_badgedesc

3_badgename

3_badgedesc

13_badgename

13_badgedesc

61_badgename

61_badgedesc

4_badgename

4_badgedesc

5_badgename

5_badgedesc

45_badgename

45_badgedesc

44_badgename

44_badgedesc

6_badgename

6_badgedesc

10_badgename

10_badgedesc

16_badgename

16_badgedesc

15_badgename

15_badgedesc

14_badgename

14_badgedesc

badgeslisttofind

Tomatoguts's favorite FMLs

By dirk855 - 18/01/2009 10:29 - United States

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

agreeclassic 28 473

vote type 1 2 364

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

agreeclassic 55 955

vote type 1 5 974

By look how totally not racist I am! - 11/07/2014 03:32 - United States - Salida

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

agreeclassic 46 111

vote type 1 4 004

By Anonymous - 30/10/2012 23:42 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

agreeclassic 31 152

vote type 1 2 449

By BloodFaerie - 30/06/2012 06:49 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

agreeclassic 32 349

vote type 1 4 446

BloodFaerie app_comment_confession_title

BloodFaerie 21

Monday 2 July 2012 8:42

OP here and I find it really funny that the people without a frickin' sense of humour are calling *me* stupid. (Not to mention when said assholes appear to be illiterate...) Yes, I know it is probably going to eat it - seeing as next time I went in there the spider had gotten smart enough to stop and wrap up its dinner to make it easier to carry, lol. (Problem solving abilities now? hmmmmmm lol) And, let's see... I was obviously in college at one point, so I would hope some of you would realize that means I'm educated. Please learn to take a joke. I'm just happy I finally got an FML accepted. And, of all of them it was a joke about one spider carrying off a "wounded comrade". And I saw someone did allude to the fact I must have left the dead one as a warning to the others. Muahahahahaha. *AND* maaaaybe this was a carefully staged display on their part to turn the tables and send *ME* a warning that they won't be dealt with so easily - that there are always MORE. *shudders* Finally, the reason there are so many spiders? I live in the basement of this house out in rural North Georgia and this scene took place in the bathroom in the back corner of said basement. So... the spiders love it there.