Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a good time. Perfect. Afterwards, he stupidly tried to pull the condom off with way too much force. It burst everywhere, splattering our faces, the bed sheets, and even the wall. Absolute disaster. We just stared at each other and laughed. Never again. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
So... you gave yourself a facial? Smooth.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Holding a used condom above your face can never end well. Wtf were you thinking.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (216)
nvo 6
Keep that in mind next time you want a ********. Much more fun on the receiving end...
TonyGoCapitals 0
By girlfriend he means his Ryan Seacrest cardboard cutout
ChickInGreenVans 12
And that's exactly what you get..
shibbysgirl 4
Morning after pill will sort that out
ChickInGreenVans 12
Over kill..
MzMegs 20
#181- It's not overkill to take a morning after pill when you're unsure if you were fully protected. It's being responsible.
theatre91 4
Sounds tasty
marisadc79 0
That is big time disgusting and why would you do that even jokingly? A used condom dangling over your face um gross. Just in case I'd have her doctor call in a plan b pill.
courtneyann211 10
If OP's gf is over 18, she can walk into any pharmacy and get it without calling her doctor first. It's not like it's covered by insurance
plcsux 0
What the hell were you thinking?
RomanBeauty 0
Homosexual fantasies much?
Deathonabun 1
Not the worst thing that could happen. You could always joke about it and invite her to try some.
GNR93 14
I feel bad for you because that suck but on the or side of it why would you do that, what good could possibly come from it?