Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
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Top comments
Margemander 4
Why would you risk it somewhere that you're likely to get caught? Especially after lying to him?
Rhysviri 10
Well aren't you just the charmer. (;
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Comments (257)
MeLuvBewbs 7
Tell him you were finding your contacts
stephan18 23
Yea we got it the first time.
Yung23 0
-22 lmfao
datoismyname 22
If it didn't work the first time it's not going to work the second time.
ProhibitionRose 14
It did work the first time...when someone else said it.
amazinghorseback 4
We got the first time saying a million times doesn't make. It funny
astronobob 0
Better than him finding the two of you the other way around?
astronobob 0
In this reversed situation one could say "Uh, she had a popcorn shell stuck in the back of her throat, I was helping her get it out"
egc573 40
Well, in the reverse situation, Dad's walking in on them could have shocked her enough to clamp down. Unlikely, but not impossible. Either way, the guy would still end up on FML. The difference would ultimately be in his writing it while sitting on the curb or while sitting in the doctor's office.
upyourzlolz 11
I imagine the thighs violently jiggling.
IsMyWenieHard 0
Bahajahahahahaha
Torch15 9
ahhhh hahahahahahahh
Yak99 0
MUHAHHAHAHA WHY ARE WE LAUGHING MUHAAHAHAHA
skitzofunia88 8
Hahahahahahahahaha damn it's contagious ahahahahahahaaaah
Cassie24x7 0
your terrible.
Musicholic_asey 1
Why doesn't anyone lock the door nowadays?
ohmandapants 17
Because not everyone has a bedroom door that locks?
bizarre_ftw 22
They do, and then they have no need for FML
SweetPerfectionn 3
They still should've done it while he was at least gone. I'm sure they would know if he was home at the time or if he just got there >.>
ohmandapants 17
You and your girlfriend are pretty disrespectful. Not only did you lie to him about doing this stuff, you're doing it in his house WHILE he's home. You deserved it. Don't do that shit while the man is home.
lucaluca_fml 2
Well, it seems you are the Angel of the family, how lucky your parents are. Good luck getting their stamp of approval or doing outdoors. What if... nevermind, you'll figure it out.
ohmandapants 17
Who said I was an angel? I respect my family enough not to do it while they're home. It's common courtesy. But way to make yourself look like an asshole.
lebronesque73091 12
In fairness though, who would tell the parents that they do that kind of stuff? If they did, then the parents would never leave anyway.
br0ccoli 15
Good answer
foreverland16 0
I agree with ohmandapants. Just because you respect your parents doesn't make you an angel; it just makes you a respectable human being. Unfortunately society has very little of those these days.
bizarre_ftw 22
It's social Darwinism, when people started enjoying themselves the respectful ones were unable to have sex because they were too respectful and died out. Tragic? perhaps. The makings of a Damn fun generation? Most definitely.
Theactuary 0
Ohmandapants is a dumb ****.
Verlengkabel 1
damn, nice pic @ ohman
ohmandapants 17
126- oh that hurts. But you know what eases the pain? All the thumbs up I have, and the thumbs down you're getting suckaaaa! You couldn't come up with a better comment? You say I'm "dumb", back it up. Ass wipe.
smokyarthas 2
Hey uh man duh you have many thumbs down. Lmao
alicianoar 7
How is having sex disrespectful? It's sex, they're not slaughtering babies or anything like all you retards are making out.
ohmandapants 17
^ oh really? I would love to see your reaction the day that you walk in on YOUR kid having sex in your house. While they knew you were in the house, not even having the decency to wait for complete privacy. It's disrespectful.
mechalharward 2
Are you saying your parents have never had sex with you in the house before? I bet they have.
ohmandapants 17
So what? It's THEIR house not mine. I don't get what the **** is wrong with you people who think this is okay.
XkassieX 6
I agree with not doing it in his home but damn you are a goody little girl
Fml_FTW228 10
Look at all of you retards calling her a "good little girl" and an "angel." I don't know if you people realize this, but you're complimenting her. She does what is respectful which is ten times better than running around like retards because you think you're "cool" for doing it. You people are the reasons for all the dumb asses in the world. You can have fun, live life, and be "cool." Without being a douche bag and disrespectful to everyone, especially family members. Next time you are going to disrespect them think "Hmm... you know, if it weren't for them I wouldn't even be here right now!"
alicianoar 7
I would not even give a ****. And it wouldn't happen because I would knock. Parents should respect their children too. If you all believe this shit, you must be scared of your parents, which definitely isn't how it should be. Just because they own the house, you think you can't have sex in your own room? What the ****?
redfox452 11
Well said
hellryu 20
If you still live with your parents you really shouldn't be having sex, you don't have the means to support yourself let alone a child. Safe sex is not 100% safe.
spankymrd 0
As a new dad with a daughter and I know it takes 2 but yes your ass would have been beat!!
cradle6 13
Be careful with assaulting minors!
ginger212 0
Why? It's not like she was giving him head.. He just wanted to make her feel good and he was taking it slow cuz he wasn't sleeping with her.. I would've given him another pat on the back.
Xcherrypie 16
Could have been worse... her head could've been between your thighs. Kinky shit.
Calyx_fml 22
How is that any worse or kinkier? Oral is oral.
toooldforthis 19
Unless they both were between each others thighs at the same time :)
Xcherrypie 16
Ok let me re-phrase: her face between your but cheeks.
hellokatie8 5
That made me laugh xD that would certainly leave some emotional scars xD daddy's little girl giving a lovely rim job xD
IndianGiver 8
Haha i need that to happen to get back at my parents for their loud hanky panky
himynamesholly 0
well. was she at least enjoying it?
j_cat187 20
Not anymore thanks her new chastity belt.
Enslaved 38
I guess the dad's reverse psychology speech didn't work. Lol Good for you not being manipulated like that but bad that you did it under his roof while he was home. (of course, also depending on the age of the daughter, in question)