Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
Today, I went on a date and ended up back at her place. She gave me head in the front hall before we started moving to her bedroom. That’s when her dad, asleep on the sofa, woke up. She had no idea why he was there but she still had my stuff dripping down her chin, and he definitely noticed. FML
Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
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Top comments
Margemander 4
Why would you risk it somewhere that you're likely to get caught? Especially after lying to him?
Rhysviri 10
Well aren't you just the charmer. (;
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Comments (257)
Lyraa_fml 0
While people ate on the house????
Dmbfan99 0
Tell him you were changing her oil
westdallas5 4
Like a boss-dumb ass!
deedoubles 6
Like a boss!
boberto1842 0
I agree with 186 its more fun when you have a chance of getting caught I've gotten head on my couch with my whole family home!
jake53 0
Be happy you're at least able to type this up, you wouldn't be if it was my daughter!
anappleaday 0
When I do things with my boyfriend.. I'm not exactly thinking about what kind of respect or disrespect people will get from it. I do it for my own enjoyment, as well as his, and am not intentionally doing it for disrespect. I don't think you should have full on sex unless in the privacy of your own room, and you should be quiet about it. But it's really irritating that people associate something so personal and just between the both of you with everyone else. That's like saying bringing your own food in a movie theater is disrespectful. Well, if you can't afford their over priced snacks, how else are you going to eat?
Razzed 4
It is disrespectful to bring your own food to the theatre. That's why theatres have rules against bringing in your own food. Stay home and rent a movie. Although, if you can't sit for two hours and watch a movie without eating, you've probably got bigger issues to worry about than simple respect. If you think that sex is a personal and private thing between two people, I expect that you would want to insure that your personal and private time stays that way. That doesn't really include sneaking off to the bedroom to get busy while your parents are still home.
lolatyofail 0
The most important meal of the day...to soon O_o
Hakando 5
Ewww what were you doing in there
TehShowstopper 6
doesnt matter had sex?