Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, I was trying on bras in a shop when a little kid stuck their head under my stall. I was completely topless and completely surprised when they asked if I was their mommy. I'm 16. FML
Today, I was playing with my 5 year-old neighbor. I was changing and he saw me naked. Then he went home and his parents came over. Apparently, he told them that I have beautiful boobs. FML
Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML
Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML
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Top comments
Vamphyre73 12
Kids and their silly comments. But why would you even specify what type of shopping?
Damn_Hippster 11
Why would you tell your 2 year old that you were going to go bra shopping? He's only 2. He obviously doesn't understand.
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Comments (186)
zombicidal 11
wonder bra?
GingerKid14 3
Isn't that adorable? Two years old, and already obsessed with boobs.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It would be strange if he's obsession has had such a late start, given that we're basically born obsessed with breasts.
BGoodRBCareful 5
Maybe he's still obsessed with them.
BbyKenzie 0
My two year old is the same way!
perdix 31
You're probably going to have to take a second mortgage to get those mosquito bites built up into something remotely feminine.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Perdix, I know nearly everyone is probably aware that you're joking, but I still have to say that small chested girls can definitely be extremely sexy and feminine in their own way.
zombicidal 11
they certainly can shrooms *pervy laugh* they certainly can
perdix 31
23 and 54, You might be surprised at what I consider the optimal size boob for real-life sex. It's not huge. In ****, on the other hand, the big uns are a lot of fun!
zombicidal 11
I agree perdix in **** bigger is usually better but in life I find slender petite girls amazingly sexy
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Everything has to be bigger in **** to look good on camera. Funny how the camera supposedly adds on the pounds to your waistline, but at the same time shrinks the male genitals and female breasts. Someone needs to research this wacky phenomenon.
Gayrome 4
That's why I stick to hentai ^_^
Gayrome 4
Wellll I do...Just not with chix xD LOL
ShroomsOnAcid 17
140 - Nice try going way out of your way to announce to everyone that you're gay. Yes, I saw that other comment of yours on the Skittles FML too. I'm curious as to why you felt the need to do so. It's not really a big deal nowadays. Anyway, uh, congratulations on your gayness.
Regmeister 10
Cue Bill Cosby's old show "Kids Say the Darndest Things"
BGoodRBCareful 5
It was Art Linkletter. Even adult kids say the darnedest things.
ThecomingofTan 9
Not without protection, good sir.
Llamacod 11
In all fairness, Cosby did the remake in the 80' s or 90' s and it seems the average age of fml users are somewhere around the united states legal drinking age.
suoerkewl 15
Cosby is the shit. Just saying.
Regmeister 10
People just don't appreciate the little things, like how funny that show was!
bossroyd 4
OP, you're raising your kid right
eltapatio16 5
Tell your son that the bank will not give you money to buy him a present.
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
This shouldn't be on an FML, it should be on "Kids Say the Darnest Things"
ty1992_farmlife 12
Kids repeat things you say to them and say it in a more embarrassing way. Its like they know how to say it like that lol
FYLDeep 26
Do you really have to torture your kids by taking them with you when you go bra shopping and to the bank? My guess is they're bored out of their minds.
FYLDeep 26
I'm also guessing that someone's going to make a reply going, "Well, what if she was a single mother or something? She can't just leave them at home alone." To that I have to say, don't take the shit I say on here too seriously.
Llamacod 11
Well, what if she we're a single mom or something, she can't just leave the kid at ho.... Oops look like you beat me to it.
Gayrome 4
At Ho?
Airick_TheGreat 2
You have a smart kid.