Today, after eighteen years of living with my adoptive parents, I met my biological mum for the first time. She's a forty year old, 300lb American woman who wears 'Twilight' t-shirts and will be spending the rest of her visit to the UK trying to find Robert Pattinson. She says I remind her of herself. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom dropped me off at a friend's house. Upon leaving, my friend's mom said how much I looked like my mother. My mother then replied, "That's funny, she was adopted." This was the first I'd heard of this. FML
Today, my mom told me that she had great news: we were going to meet my biological parents. I didn't know I was adopted. FML
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Today, I met this girl who's perfect. Turns out, since I'm adopted, she might be my sister. FML
Today, after years of not speaking with my birth mother, I took a chance and stopped to talk to her when I saw her outside of her house. Five minutes into it, I knew I needed my hair recolored and that I'm out of shape, this all being said by a totally gray haired fat woman. FML
Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. I also found out from her husband that she has her nipples and nether regions pierced. FML
Today, my mother, who is 75 years-old, just told me and my sister that we were adopted. I'm 45 years-old and my sister is 49. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's entire extended family at a party. All of them, including his dad, said I looked exactly like his mum. FML
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Top comments
amrik 11
if I were you I would thank her for putting me up for adoption
nate_msm 0
it's neither op's mum ate it
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Comments (273)
Coconutscyclone 0
oh well... give her some glitter?
nate_msm 0
it's neither op's mum ate it
WillKill4Beer 0
Deny her like she denied you?....
Xxak907xX 0
that is what's called crazy
underguarded 20
that is what you call sad
EvanJ_fml 0
The definition of obsessive and insane. Living in an alternate reality.
BamBarBiYaKergud 2
all american moms are fat except for colorado. Colorados moms best in the world
dudeitsdanny 10
Kyle Broflovski's mom Eric Cartman's mom Stan Marsh's mom Kenny's mom. Butters' mom. Shall I go on with fictional representation of Colorado native mothers?
joethepro21 0
Americans coined the term milf for a reason
xxmollyxx 25
butter's mom isn't fat
dudeitsdanny 10
But she's a terrible mom, so she's the perfect fictional proof that Colorado's moms aren't the best.
Flutist 3
MILF = Mothers Interested in Literary Fiction. SO Op's mother is a MILF.
blackjuan 0
bullshit my mom has never weighed over 130 lbs
randiZ25 0
I'm an American mom, I've had two girls and weigh 125, with 12% body fat but good try ;)
KaanTech 0
if i were op i would regret that i found my bio-mother
missangela 0
I have the same kinda story. Was adopted for about the same time and found my real mom and shes just as childish haha wears curly shoe laces and crazy kid clothes I still love her to death though now I know where all the weirdness comes from in my family :P
pinkspaceboundro 0
so she may not be what you expected, but you should be thankful that you found her.
jeannine_lee 0
Not sure I agree that she should be thankful. OP gave her real parents a big F-U when she decided to find her bio mom. Her real parents fed her, clothed her, changed her diapers, held her when she cried - ALL of it. But that's not enough for some people, they need to find the source of the DNA. The "real" mom? Hardly.
Grimmerie 31
my mother is actually very supportive of me finding my biological mother. i want to know who she is, where i come from, and why she gve me up. is it so terrible to be curious? my adopted mother will always be my real mom, and my best friend, and she knows that.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
This is why if you're adopted or just with your father and his new wife..be happy with what ya got. If they're not in your life, there's probably a very good reason.
lesdodis 0
like what? to ****** lazy to raise um
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Not necessarily lazy, just unfit for the job. No pun intended.
tasiamalaysia 0
there could be plenty of reasons, not necessarily too lazy. some parents give up their kids for adoption because they are too young and immature to successfully raise a child, financial problems and being worried that they can't give their kid everything they deserve.
dreamering 16
I've never seen this movie, but I've seen a trailer when a 300lb wolf jumps on somebody. Just be careful.