Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML
Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, my husband told me he'd changed his mind and no longer wants children. We already have two kids. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
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Top comments
mpj13 8
It's not really solved
Principessa101 20
You didn't discuss wanting children before you got married?
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Comments (216)
quontag 15
Happy Not A Fathers Day!
YesyDidWhat 0
Ouchhh:O wtf is wrong with your crazy wife?!
eyecon502 13
If she's hot, i'll take her off your hands.
mariah_victoria 0
I don't get it.
Dracoboxer357 36
94- Story time! :D Op wants to have children in his life. He presented this idea to his wife, who believing he was joking, proceeded to laugh at him. This made him sad. :( When his wife realized he was serious in this statement, she decided to viciously remove his ability to reproduce himself and thunderously attacked his testicles!!! (Actually, she just flicked them) ;P The wife doesn't want to have kids, and she decided to convey this in a humourous manner, pretending she just sterilized him with her act of violence. I'm betting Op would have much preferred sitting down to a mature conversation about each other's wants and desires, but instead he was dismissed with a childish response. Hense, the FML. Clear as crap? Goody. ;)
StreetReaper 9
Next time, don't pull out. Problem solved.
IBeCakin 4
Crap! Your girlfriend flicked you in the balls!....yeah you're a pussy
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
You didn't discuss things like this (even casually) before marriage? Maybe it was some kind of arranged marriage where they didn't know each other. Hm?
donut_gurl 8
you really need ti discuss this before you get married.
MutilatedAbyss 11
They are married..
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
But they're saying it should have been done before.
Senseless_487 29
And what's to say they didn't discuss it? People do change their minds on these issues, people!
MutilatedAbyss 11
Ah, I see. I clearly read that wrong. My apologies.
Gunnarr 12
Kill her in the face with a brick.
sambudd14 2
Accidentally slapped myself in the balls the other day man, I know dat feel