Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my cat was being surprisingly loving towards me. Normally she ignores me so I obviously found this rather odd. She kept meowing so I assumed she was hungry. As I was getting up to feed her, she stood up and pooped all over me, my bed and phone, then turned away and ran. FML
Today, my cat woke me up by vomiting a big, warm, stinky hairball on my neck and then left. I think she was smiling as she trotted away. FML
Today, I saw my cat outside taking a dump. I pulled back the curtain and watched him clean it up, because I found it fascinating that animals can do that. I must have been standing there for several minutes before I noticed the neighbour next door looking at me being fascinated by my cat pooing. FML
Today, I was enjoying my dinner by my patio window when I spotted a cat roaming through my backyard. As I observed it explore my yard, I also watched as it climbed onto, then took a piss on the freshly clean clothes I had left to dry. FML
Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I went to clean my cat's litter box, not realizing she was in it. As I lifted the top half of the litter box up, she sprayed me with piss. FML
Today, I got home after a rough day and was really looking forward to some cuddles from my cat. I opened the door and she came running toward me, which was unusual, so I knelt down to embrace her. She ran right past me to get to the tuna sandwich I'd unwittingly dropped on the floor. FML
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
Oh man you cat be serious! C'mon you've got to be kitten me! That sounds like a catastrophe! Hopefully you can put this event behind you and "fur-get" about it.
Mifflicious 18
According to your profile, you want to be a veterinarian. I really suggest you don't if you think hugging cats is strange. Jeez..
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (192)
DuffleBagHero 4
That's why you don't let many animals in your garden either. Cats tend to mess thing up.
ShyAnn29 15
Garden means yard in the UK
shahroni1 3
tired looking shity fml. post some thing new
GoingToBeAPilot1 6
No shit derp
micahsmommy 13
On the upside the cat didn't poo in your home. On the downside she pooed in the sun which will make it all the more stinky. I'm sure she appreciated the hug though and will thank you later by bringing you a dead mouse.
DrBlack 9
More likely to dry out quicker in the sun and smell less than indoors where it would stay... uh, moist?
hateevryone 15
That just sounds so corny.
devonisthebest 7
Haha and you just randomly go and hug your cat?
evilplatypus 39
I kiss mine when they least expect it. Ninja Kisses!!!
fishface517 10
My dogs get the same treatment. Sadly one time I got a horrid case of poison ivy all over my face from giving them kisses-so I recommend to stop soon. It was not fun :(
daisyismydog 3
I feel like this isn't bad enough to be an FML
sflomb 18
I guess you could say that was a shitty situation.
DocBastard 40
No you can not say that.
stevenJB 25
Lol. Win for Doc.
loserman67 36
"AAAhhhhhhh, it's nice here in the garden, feeling the warm sun on my old bones. ****, here comes my ******** master skipping around like she always does. Try to catch a few minutes to myself and she can't stay away. Maybe if I look like I'm copping a squat she'll leave me the **** alone."
DrBlack 9
There should be a like/dsislike feature just for comments.
EnterSandman_fml 20
Yep, I'm sure that's exactly what most cats think. I know when I first get home mine gets this look that screams, "Ah ****, there goes my peace and quiet and doing whatever the **** I want. Maybe if I act like I want food the thing will think I give a shit."
Snafuusmc 12
Pussy stank.