Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
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Top comments
Jae_Hellyun 17
Next time he goes to kiss you offer a handshake...
Steve95401 49
Bite his lips next time so that they will be both bruised and swollen.
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Comments (85)
johannah1993 7
My Windows Phone app doesn't show location.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
My boyfriend was in a motorcycle accident a few months ago and we were telling everyone that I hit him for not making me sandwich. We had fun with it and people got a laugh once we told them the truth. If it really bothers you though, you should talk to him about it making you uncomfortable.
syed121417 22
That's not funny and is very strange behavior. Domestic violence is no laughing matter so I don't know why he would think it would be funny to tell people that he's a victim, basically. Does he want people to think you are a bad person, or is he actually joking and didn't think they believed him?
Thors_Hammer9999 17
"Pow! Right in the kisser!"
Gauzy21 12
Let's just hope his penis doesn't turn purple as well.
MistaBlista 9
"Pow right in the kisser"
Matteo_xxi 14
You should hit him.. Lol
0neiros 14
Next time he pulls that, tell people you hit him because he cheated on you with the poolboy.
militarybrat 21
He does realize domestic violence isn't funny? Does he WANT people to hate you? Geez. FYL and let him know it offends you. Also, if you are under 18 someone can report you for assault. Over 18 he would have to file for it
thatonejew 2
you should smash your face into a door, then tell people the same, that he hits you, see how funny he finds it loo