Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. He got a text and reached over to get his phone. In the process, he elbowed my face and busted my lip. He laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML
Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip and a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML
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Top comments
Jae_Hellyun 17
Next time he goes to kiss you offer a handshake...
Steve95401 49
Bite his lips next time so that they will be both bruised and swollen.
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Comments (85)
kilarbos 14
Also known as "heteronormativity."
WitEluded 13
If your lips are bruised after making out, you're doing it wrong
wolfy_fml 5
Totally. It amazes me that so many people never check the details to see if the poster put their gender or location. I always see comments assuming the OP of whatever FML it is, is American when it clearly states otherwise sometimes.
Louie_217 9
Hahaha damn that's messed up but I'll probably do the same thing lol
sunnyray812 42
What a ******* douche. That's not at all funny and can get you into serious trouble. Dump his ass. You deserve someone who DOESN'T think whining abuse as a prank is funny.
brittaaany_93 38
There's always that one comment telling the OP to dump their partner...
Axel5238 29
True and it is normally an over reaction though I think joking about spousal abuse isn't something to joke about especially, when them saying that as a joke could be taken seriously and actually impact their life should someone report it.
sunnyray812 42
This is a serious issue. He could get locked up and have his future wrecked all by a joke. If I was in his shoes, I'd get out of that relationship immediately. His boyfriend should've use his brain and thought about what this could do to OP.
mosquito19 14
you already got Pre-approved. start hitting him for real and see if he still find it funny.
Rkikkas9713 25
I bet his friends think the joke is a hit.
tylercarolinex 21
its not really something to be proud of
thatcoolguy123 14
umm wtf. that's not funny at all and you can get involved with the cops for it...
8Dirty1 24
tell everyone he has a cold sore