Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML
Today, I noticed a cute girl in the checkout lane at the store. Feeling a little flirtatious, I decided to blow a bubble with my gum to get her attention. I accidentally shot the gum out of my mouth onto the guy next to me, spitting all over myself in the process. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You were chewing gum with numb lips? Really?? You should do what I do after getting lidocaine injected in my mouth - Mumble incoherently and drool like an idiot.
antonia789 17
Well at least you'll never see her again..
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Comments (79)
barlos88 19
Hey sharing is caring
alicat13 12
People who chew gum look disgusting already. You most probably had turned her off before you spat at her.
xebi 4
I don't really understand why you didn't apologise to her, OP. Personally I'm quite socially awkward so would find it hard to start talking to someone but I wouldn't have thought excusing yourself would be that hard. A little rude not to, no? And an explanation would be a cool icebreaker.
Attacksloth 33
She had enough of your lip.
Badkarma4u 17
Unless your method of smiling drastically differs from mine, I'm going to call shenanigans on this one.
Lanzoni 4
Chewing gum after a dental appointment? This just screams fake to me
DanielleinDC 34
Why on earth were you chewing gum after a dental appointment? I had to have a deep cleaning last year, and after they did my lower teeth, I couldn't think of eating or drinking, much less chewing gum. It felt weird enough trying to drink water after the half hour was up. (After I had my upper teeth done, I wasn't nearly as miserable.) And after I had a tooth extracted in the summer, I was on a soft foods diet for a week and had zero appetite. I couldn't imagine chewing anything.
Androowd 3
Do you wanna know how I got these scars?
fmlrulesBolt 14
Better luck next time
Tomieray 4
Yeah, that's one way of spitting game at her.