Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML
Today, my entire family of five is sharing one roll of toilet paper. My parents refuse to buy any, because my father can get it free from his work. He's forgotten to bring any home every day without fail for the past seven days. FML
Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, my household ran out of toilet paper so we have to shower after every dump. My mom just confessed that she does in fact have money for shit tickets, but won't buy any because it's the only way she can get my brother to shower. FML
Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML
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Top comments
stieglar 17
Just buy your own toilet paper and keep it in your room
Jasim 17
Buying toilet paper is just cheaper and easier than going through this hassle. Anyway, does it clean better? :D
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Comments (71)
cats400 16
Buy your own toilet paper!!
WOTAN1488 24
Why thumbs down??
incoherentrmblr 22
At least you didn't have to use wallpaper like the other person did on FML here...
stieglar 17
Just buy your own toilet paper and keep it in your room
chosha_fml 27
His dad will probably still make him unclog the toilet when the dad clogs it.
Cassmoneyyy 15
Been there, done that. Then my mother in law got mad at us for not sharing. She would use a roll a day. No wonder! So happy we got out of there as soon as we could.
curlytop101 23
Sounds like a shitty situation...
teapotrevolt 27
I'm so with you here #6, *jumps out same window, smh*
JMichael 26
There's always that one.
MrSassypants 34
Why all the jumping out windows? Why not take the elevator?..... Oh it's broken. Well I'm not taking the stairs. *jumps out window*
kieralumina 30
and here we find the obligatory "shitty situation, etc." pun.
knight2109 12
its not even a pun anymore, and I'd much rather throw someone else out the window personally.
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Its always been on my bucket list! *gets thrown out a window*
Jasim 17
Buying toilet paper is just cheaper and easier than going through this hassle. Anyway, does it clean better? :D
MrSassypants 34
It is cheaper and I use toilet paper for many things, but my teacher was always upset when I wrote my essays on it.
ComoEsJuan 24
Man, that's rough.
cryssycakesx3 23
john wayne toilet paper...
HeWillBeLoved105 22
How do you not notice the different texture?
SlipperyNipple 9
Exactly what im wondering...
ashingtondc 3
well the stuff they use at my school is worse than paper towels OP probably just didn't give it much thought while wiping
tehdarkness 21
If it was soft, then I'll bet t's more expensive than regular TP.
JMichael 26
Wouldn't you have noticed it wasn't toilet paper? Paper towels have got to be rough on the ass..
MrConcise 35
Back in my day, we used to wipe our asses with tree bark and sandpaper. Kids these days...taking their non-bleeding anuses for granted.
doodlecloud 27
I'm a bit confused. Are paper towels different in the US? In England they're a bit thicker but not rough, they're more plush. They're also more expensive.
JMichael 26
Yes here in the US most paper towel brands are a bit rough in texture. So I would assume that'd be a bit uncomfortable to wipe your ass with it.
Mauskau 36
Depends on the paper towels. The ones we had at school were thick and blue, and just blowing your nose with them felt like sandpaper. The ones in my office are similar but white, and the ones on a roll are indented on one side. In my gym we have very thin paper towels. All of these can be quite rough though.
doodlecloud 27
Ah okay, I think I've seen ones like that too actually. Thanks for the explanation.
Ethan_Anonymous 28
What a dick
ajs1987 15
Are you having a shitty day?
derp_taco 22
No shitty puns its against FML Rules. Off to the torment room to be behaeaded for use of shitty puns
Zacky_Chan 22
who know where you will be when diarrhea hits 0_o
JMichael 26
Using paper towels
clairesucks 37
#14 whats that got to do with anything?