Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a red light camera ticket for $100 in the mail. After checking the date and time, I realized it was from when I was rear ended into the intersection while STOPPED at a red light. FML
Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML
Today, after finding $50 on the sidewalk this morning and feeling like the luckiest person alive, I got a parking ticket for $60. FML
Today, not only did I shit myself on my way to work, I left my house keys in the bathroom after I cleaned up. It's $90 to replace them. FML
Today, I got a speeding ticket in the mail, at the same time as my car was getting towed. FML
Today, I was pissed that I got a £60 parking ticket so rang my friend to rant about it. I then got pulled over by the cops for using my phone, and was fined £120. FML
Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML
Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML
Today, I got a ticket for "suspicious driving" because my total shit of a mother kept tugging on the wheel to annoy me, and I still had to pay it. FML
Today, I got a bill for $62.70 because my company gave my last work car to some idiot who doesn't like to pay the toll road fees. They never took me off the registration. FML
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Top comments
caligal14 0
Fight the ticket in court, I'm sure you'll get it overturned or at least lessened.
Clover2009 0
I get it. OP said that he was going down hill when his breaks went out, so he must've zoomed by a speed camera and it caught him in the moment of freaking out over it, aka "******** himself." Frankly, I laughed. But OP gets a FYL. Take it to court with records of your breaks being fixed (receipts, etc) and of course the ticket and picture. I'm sure the story would amuse the judge.
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Comments (102)
JustReina 0
this makes no ******* sense what so ever!
kitty0910 0
I have a lot of respect for you Pendatik. Your replies are well written and you are great at explaining to the stupid while also verbally bitch slapping them (sometimes they don't even understand that you are insulting them) Kudos.
kenjiisown 1
Just by reading this FML, I immediately knew a female wrote it. YDI.
jumper1984 0
46 how many girls do u know that talk about ******** themselves unless it's an ugly ass dike lesbian or an 80 year old women that shots themselves on a regular basis fyl
AphroditesApple 0
that sucks but you are lucky your ticket was so cheap, ours are over $400
rety1 13
you do know that their are 2 sets of brakes on a car you could have been using... for one thing you could have downshifted and that will slow you down and theirs the front brakes which do 90% of the braking and there are the rear brakes which are connected to a cable that goes to this magical little thing called the emergency brake..... even if your brakes lines randomly ruptured you can still use the emergency brake. YDI for apparently bit knowing your car.. *sorry for writing a book*
dawnia_tbone07 0
That doesn't always work. Part of my axle broke on my car, naturally while on a hill. Not only did my basic brake system fail, but my emergency brake wasn't working either. I had to turn the car off, engage the emergency brake, AND physically stand on my foot brake to keep my car rolling back at a slow enough speed until I was in position to roll into the curb.
kitty0910 0
That is all well and good, but OP clearly stated they were freaking out (" ******** my pants") so in a moment of panic most people can not think rationally or clearly. I'm sure they pulled the e brake eventually (they had to stop somehow, and since OP didn't add a "I crashed into...." unfortunately for OP the camera caught them before they stopped.
polopony 0
It really is. Not really an FML though because I'll bet the photo is suitable for framing
MissMacy3 0
...literally?
lawlatyourfml 0
so you should take it to the place that did your brakes, make them pay for it and explain it to the court when you fight it. or if your government is anything like it is where i live, just don't pay it and they won't do anything haha
kristennalexy06 0
You should totally put that as your profile picture :)
UpYoursInAdvance 0
... How do they see you ******** yourself?!