Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML
Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
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Top comments
Lolzords 11
You should have groped her appropriately.
DEXter501 0
How inconsiderate of her.
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Comments (75)
starile 20
"Yes, in fact, I use my mother for practice."
pip74205 9
That's where you push her so she falls. Then, while she's on the ground, say "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you intended to fall on your ass."
sourgirl101 29
Did you crotch launch her or something? Just for practice, you should go around tripping hot ladies, just to learn how to catch them correctly.(:
Cinn_fml 23
Good to know she was worth the effect. I hope you had a sarcastic apology for her, because that is really ungrateful. Hope it doesn't make you bitter about helping people, some are just ungrateful, others appreciate it. I mean if you're catching someone like that you don't necessarily have time to think about where your hands are going.
Cinn_fml 23
Effort, not effect...
Zmeilerr 22
either way it still made sense. lol
danielle25 15
you should have left fall. some people are so ungrateful but remeber there is always our friend karma.
batgirlGordon 0
next time let her fall
brootalxkeni 0
what a bitch
berg54 0
That's when you say "Okay next time I'll worry about where to grab and react slow and watch you fall and crack your head open. Let me know how that works out, bitch. Good day."
xspaniardx 3
^ Win!! That's what I would have said, then push her and make her fall again, but not help this time, instead stand, point and laugh hysterically.
crobcrob 1
That will teach you to be a good person! alas! what is this world coming to?
Falken45 0
ydi- u groped her