Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML
Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
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Top comments
Lolzords 11
You should have groped her appropriately.
DEXter501 0
How inconsiderate of her.
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Comments (75)
iheartglasses 0
OP, had I been walking by when this happened, I would have totally stuck up for you! Im sure that woman went home and told her story to people expecting them to agree with her, but instead its likely they didnt. Although she didnt understand that you tried to help since she felt invaded, others most likely saw it differently :)
JNor99 0
at that point I'd just let go of her. :)
Pawned71 0
Shoudlve smacked the horniness out of her
wwerulez14 6
I think she said extremely attractive. Makes more sense.
bumnumber1 0
Shoulda let the bitch fall on her face.
alaaloo_fml_fml 0
You win some, you lose some. People nowadays just aren't very considerate or appreciative. I applaud your good moral standard OP.
that_arab_dude 0
I would have bodyslammed that bitch then farted on her face and groped her inappropriately and told her "how's that for inappropriate groping bitch"
Chinnithy 0
That's when you go: "Oops, my hand slipped.".
mzeemzima 0
damn straight
jpark5 0
I didnt know there was a way to grope appropriately