Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML
Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
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Top comments
Lolzords 11
You should have groped her appropriately.
DEXter501 0
How inconsiderate of her.
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Comments (75)
memorables 0
What a bitch, I think that was sweet.
Dr_Soapynutz 0
Obviously you aren't aware of the "2 in the pink, 1 in the stink" edicate.
xoxospontaneousx_fml 0
well someones an ungrateful son of a biscut
Roadblock1118 0
Drop her ass and before you leave, tell her to go **** herself
Shaggy_92 5
I would've dropped that bitch
Moogleabuse 0
Maybe she fell so that you could grope her properly, but you disappointed her.
orangeandblu 0
can u grope a women appropriately?
greencollin96 0
maybe she was just really embarrassed cause she fell.... lol thats still a mean thing to do, either way shes a bitch
angelofsaturn 23
when i was in high school i tripped and fell but my band director broke my fall...by catching my boob. i think falling on my face would have been more merciful for the both of us.
shawnagreenbean1 9
What a bitch. Nobody knows how to handle chivalry/kindness anymore. PROBABLY WHY NOBODY IS CHIVALROUS OR KIND ANYMORE.