Today, a woman slipped on the ice in front of me. Instinctively, I caught her before she fell. Instead of thanking me, she whirled around and asked me if my *expletive* mother had taught me to grope women inappropriately. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Today, while ice-skating with my girlfriend, I tried to do what they do in the movies and make her gently fall into my arms. Instead she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the ice. FML
Today, I tried to be helpful by holding the door open for a woman carrying boxes. She smiled and hurried toward me, then tripped and dropped everything at my feet. She stared at me like I'd caused it, and said, “Thanks” through clenched teeth. FML
Today, a woman yelled at me for holding a door open for her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML
Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her, "Get the fuck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML
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Top comments
Lolzords 11
You should have groped her appropriately.
DEXter501 0
How inconsiderate of her.
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Comments (75)
rattusrattus 19
Wow. Just... wow. Most women would realise that even if the boob was accidentally touched, groping was not the main objective. She sounds messed up. Or stupid. I would say 'feminazi giving the rest of us feminists a bad name' but... the mother comment. I dunno. Cripes. Just... wow.
sourgirl101 29
Are we playing "Mad Libs"? I'm saying "generous".
xo_mrii_xo 0
wow, i would have told her off, all you did was try to help her, shes rude . but its a little funny.
LandoKid 9
Maybe, Instinctively, she thought of being rude and inconsiderate?
smallsmerry 0
because rapists trip her and grab her ******* all the time, right?
ydi_4_suking 20
Yea I know. You should have pushed her ass down like how other people said
EvilPrince_fml 0
Next time **** her. Let her drop and whip out your junk in her face and piss on her. THEN, tell her to get up with a broken hip to suck your dick.
capnbzarr 43
Dude, you have some serious issues. Seek professional help.
Ciara Koch 22
Lol doubt she see the same person falling again unless she lives with her and an alcoholic
DRock525 0
did you drop her afterwards?
mexipunker 0
I guess funny.
kinderteach 0
Oh! Madlibs! ummm she said lovely mother!
hkgirl89 8
that's why you shouldn't have caught her in the first place :/