Today, I was going to ask my parents for advice on how to get my ex-girlfriend back. I overheard them talking about how glad they were that their plan to break us up worked so well. I don't think I should ask for advice anymore. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents found out that I separately convinced them not to get back together, and now they're not speaking to me. FML
Today, my parents asked me if my girlfriend of two years and I wanted to go see a musical with them. I haven't told them that she broke up with me the day after she met them. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML
Today, my ex, who has been asking me to get back with her, told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me when I asked. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML
Today, I wanted to call my mom to ask for advice but called my boss instead. I panicked and ended up talking about weekend plans like nothing was wrong. She now knows way too much about my personal life. FML
Today, I told my mom about the rough time I'm having over my recent break-up, and how I can't help thinking about my ex every single day. Her attempt to console me involved saying, "Pft. I bet he doesn't think about you every day" and walking away. Thanks. FML
Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML
Today, after we got home from the doctor's office, my mom checked the voicemail. Loud and clear, we both heard my boyfriend's break-up message. My parents had already forbidden me from dating. FML
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Top comments
the_funny_man 0
Dude, guilt trip them. If they don't know you overheard them, faking extreme depression as a result of the breakup will probably be worth some pretty significant concessions. "Oh, it's our fault, let's cheer him up, he's always wanted _________".
Luckster 0
Parents...gotta love how manipulative they are!
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Comments (54)
Luckster 0
Parents...gotta love how manipulative they are!
JohnnyTheFox 0
Break up their marriage.
JohnnyTheFox 0
better yet, kill them in their sleep.
GuitarJunkie6258 0
Better yet, convince your grandparents to break up their marriage, and then kill them in their sleep
stewpididiot 11
piss in their coffee pot !!
michaelscot23 0
lol @ 40
Reality_bites 14
I want to know, what was their plan?
reneekun 0
Punch them in the face! I would.
alexandraa_fml 0
What conniving parents!! Spite them and do it anyway,. two can play this game!
blastvortex 4
Revenge is a dish best served cold. You know what to do.
Peroxide 3
Make them dinner then put it in the freezer? mother-omg my dinner is so cold, we should have never broke up our sons relationship father-i've lost the will to live
Jeef27 0
lol
the_funny_man 0
Dude, guilt trip them. If they don't know you overheard them, faking extreme depression as a result of the breakup will probably be worth some pretty significant concessions. "Oh, it's our fault, let's cheer him up, he's always wanted _________".
explorer96 0
take this for all its worth!
Hacksaw 4
Have your ex-girlfriend help you get them to divorce each other. That'll teach 'em.
kesht1996 12
Way too far
simawesome_FYL 0
you should not do that anyway ...
Erranty 0
Try not to be so obvious we know you're his mom.
LtHoward 0
Tell them the reason it didn't work out with her must be because you're gay! Mess with them.
RaphX 0
Write love letters to one of them and plant them somewhere obvious, like the sock drawer.