Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. As I was clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML
Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she said, "Ha! Sucker!" FML
Today, I was sitting on a plane waiting for everyone to get on. A cute guy around my age had the option of sitting next to me or an old guy. He gave me a horrified look and immediately sat next to the old man. I got to sit next to his mother. She evil eyed me the whole time. FML
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and say,s "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
Today, I was on the train next to an elderly woman. When I told her it was my stop, she turned her knees towards the aisle, and I, thinking that she was letting me go by, began to edge past. She screamed, "DON'T PUSH ME!" and the whole train turned to look. I was thus the asshole pushing the old lady. FML
Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, a pretty girl joined the line at the bus station. I let her skip the line and go before me so I could sit next to her. After she bought her ticket, I realized there were no more seats left on that bus. I was told to get off, and had to take the next bus, sitting next to a snoring old man. FML
Today, there was a pretty girl sitting near me on the train home. I thought about asking for her number., but instead a drunk nitwit decided to wander around the car and came very close to touching her. She got up and moved to the other end, while I had to deal with a belligerent hobo who was now intent on fighting me. FML
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Top comments
Voldy_fml 16
You should've said something in Russian right back. Very rude of her.
Boygenius50 8
In Soviet Russia, train rides you.
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Comments (62)
Voldy_fml 16
You should've said something in Russian right back. Very rude of her.
Boob_fml 6
Not if OP looks like a *****. Then it was just honest.
Ugi 27
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Or find her after she sat and give that bitch a lap dance. Did she really think she was safe?
gc327072 31
37- say in Russian: "you think this is a GAME?!" and then lap dance.
skoob1 12
Reminds me of that car commercial where the couple are discussing it in Japanese, and when they make up their mind the salesman says "very good." in Japanese.
ecstacie 2
You shouldn't dress like a hooker then.
DarkDaedalus009 8
Sounds like she needs her daily nap and her pair of glasses
DocBastard 40
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe you should have put some damned clothes on before you left the house. I can't believe the way I see young women dressing these days. Cover yourself and leave something to the imagination, for ****'s sake.
evig_fml 16
Agree, and then they get angry at me for looking D;
folfg0 12
Girl logic. *scantily dressed teen girl* "My eyes are up here! Not my boobs!" Later talking to her girl friends... "He was totally checking me out. Omg, I must be hot." Why?
purplegal27 3
for all you know, she could have been wearing sweats and a hoodie, some old people are just crazy and judgemental
FMLoverAgain 7
Well if you need imaginations to get an erection than wear a ******* blindfold or go jack yourself off, no need to look at anything
TheDrifter 24
We don't need to see what guage of clit hood peircing today's young women prefer through their clothing. The old lady may be judgemental, but she obviously remembers what a tramp used to dress like.
DocBastard 40
Purplegal - I love the assumption that the old lady was crazy or judgmental. Based on how girls dress these days, I find it MUCH more likely that OP was dressed like a hooker than that the lady was senile. Senility is NOT as prevalent as people here like to think. Most "elderly" people have all their marbles - they just aren't afraid to voice their opinions. Like me. I mean about the opinions, not about being elderly...dammit you know what I mean!
Marcella1016 32
Doc seems to be making a lot of assumptions in his posts lately. The girl could've been wearing an above the knee skirt, heels, and a shirt with a little cleavage. She could've had a lot of makeup on. The elderly tend to be pretty conservative (not to generalize, obviously, but we know times have changed). But telling OP to "leave something to the imagination" implies that she was, say, out in her underwear or something - which, while not unheard of, is impossible to tell just from the FML. Edit - Looks like he's getting the wrath of Alan. Too bad my post will disappear now; I rather liked inserting that point of view :(
Googoo27 12
Dang comment moderation. Now I'm going to spend all day wondering what Doc said to get his comment moderated.
MURIKKA 11
Holy shit doc got moderated?!?!? Now I want to know what he said....
flockz 20
well this is a first and i've been here awhile.
Boob_fml 6
Mine got modded too! All because I said "*****".
SenselessPattern 12
I went to my bank and the money was still miraculously there, so then I checked the stock market and it hadn't crashed. Still panicking, I turned on the news expecting to hear of a preemptive strike by Articadia, the secret country in Antarctica, on the rest of the continents. My reaction to the above moderation. Though I agree DB can be very harsh sometimes, which might reflect his frustrations with particular stupid patients. Maybe the fact that he seems to generalize and assume things more correlates to having a bad day. I see plenty of upbeat and intelligent comments by him as well as the very sporadic generalizing and angry ones.
happylawyer 16
It is incredible that comments from inteligent and educated persons with plain old commom sense get moderated while leaving untouched comments with insults and foul words. Apparently, someone is "lowering the bar" around here.
gc327072 31
Well, there's a first for ya^
TheMathMajor 26
Wow! Doc's comment got moderated. Never seen that before.
mrphychrs 5
no one wants to sit by hookers
SirEskimo 13
Older women need loving too, just not with that kind of attitude. Her loss, OP
walmartpaysme 15
Just because the word "hooker" is in this FML, you decide the old lady needs to get some? WTF?
SirEskimo 13
39- no, EVERYBODY needs some
datoismyname 22
At least you know you look good then! ;)
pennies_lane 6
because hookers look good?
datoismyname 22
Well I guess my sarcasm is off today. *flees scene of crime*
Boygenius50 8
In Soviet Russia, train rides you.
ant1ion 12
Ouch
KrazieKleo 13
Judgmental people. One too many.