Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was running around the track at school PE with a lot of other students. I noticed a guy who smelled really bad and I thought to myself how disgusting that was and I felt bad for him. Later, I was changing and caught a whiff of my shirt. It wasn't him who was smelly. FML
Today, I was in class and I smelled what I thought was month-old trash coming from a student in front of me. I politely ignored the smell, only to realize a few hours later that the persistent smell wasn't coming from every student in my university, but was from my shoes. FML
Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he called "liquid ass." I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML
Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML
Today, while in class, I noticed that someone had really bad B.O. I was seated next to an extremely ill-mannered girl, so I figured it was her, and thought to myself that if it happened again, I'd tell her off. Once I got home and took off my jacket, I realized it was me. I forgot to put on deodorant. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
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Top comments
thatkidmal 15
That's just horrible
HopelesslyCiara5 19
Good. Then he can see how badly he needs a good cleaning every day or two.
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Comments (66)
worldclassrager 41
I think he needs to work on his hygiene a bit...hope this doesn't happen again...
arandomusernameaa 20
No shit sherlock...
OctoDope 15
Im going to go on a limb here and assume you are an avid axe user.
Welshite 40
#15: Triumvirate could be the poster boy for Axe products.
xsarax_fml 10
I'm a girl, so idk what ball sweat smells like.. but now I never wanna touch another man again. lol
thefastnfuryass 14
Aww, you'll be missing out on so much though :)
derbygirl3 4
axe is fine its just that a lot of people over spray it.
XSnowFlameX 4
I would have given him a deodorant. He'll get the hint.
PurelyCanadian 18
That is disgusting. Too bad you didn't puke in class. Maybe that would have provided a momentary, though equally foul distraction.
smokecloud_ 37
Time to leave a gift basket in his locker including high-powered deodorant, some Irish Spring, and a non-offensive man-spray. (the FML community seems to have a hatred for Axe, so maybe something else.) Also include a gentle, but to-the-point note expressing your love, but also your concern for his well-being and that of everyone around him. Don't forget the pretty bow! Everyone likes a pretty bow.
perdix 31
I'm questioning how you got your aroma palette.
awilliams44 9
that's so nasty. aren't you lucky.. I'd go buy him some deoderant and say happy birthday