Today, at Starbucks, I complimented the awkward nerdy barista's name tag because of the funny Sonic decorations on it. The dude took it as me flirting and gave me my drink with Sonic drawn on it. I had applied to work there and now I can't go back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on cloud nine when the beautiful waitress I frequently ordered takeaways from told me she didn't need to take my name as she remembers me from before. When I got my food, I saw the sales slip. On it she had written, "Cheeseburger - Fries - Coke - Nerdy guy with bad haircut." FML
Today, I was at a coffee shop, trying to get to know the cute new barista. I wanted to compliment his nice eyes, but I got nervous and blurted out, "You have nice elbows!" He stared at me, confused, as I quickly grabbed my coffee and left. Now I can't even imagine going back there. FML
Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML
Today, at work, I was fired from my job for being too "forward" to my boss. All I did was get him coffee and a biscuit from McDonald's to celebrate his 15-year anniversary working there. FML
Today, I walked into Starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, as I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, "NO!" There was a 'Now hiring' sign in the window. FML
Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML
Today, I walked into Jamba Juice like I do every day. I decided to order something different than I usually do, and was flattered when the cashier recognized me. Then he switched places with another employee, and from the back room I heard, "Hey, ugly's back again." FML
Today, while I was working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good… you left a nipple." and slowly licked it off. FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nonsensical 26
I think it was a cute, simple compliment that you gave and he was giving you a cute response. Doesn't confirm nor deny that you want to have his babies. You can go back, I promise.
CaityMandy 10
Why can't you go back?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (42)
CaityMandy 10
Why can't you go back?
nonsensical 26
I think it was a cute, simple compliment that you gave and he was giving you a cute response. Doesn't confirm nor deny that you want to have his babies. You can go back, I promise.
k_cummins 21
He obviously thought you would appreciate it. It may not have even been meant as flirting.
AkoChan 4
<p>Ahh, poor you. You have talked to "the social outcast (tm)", and he responded with somethign cute to your compliment. Since obviously it is beneath you to talk to him again... I mean come on he likes Sonic. That means you seriously can't have a serious talk with him should he advance you again. Because everybody knows nerds need to advance all woman who talk to them, cause so few do...</p>
Bingo_Bango 13
<p>Wowsers, you're going to have far bigger things in life to worry about than seeing some kid again who was possibly just being friendly and drew on your cup. It was a nice gesture. I guarantee you he's not going to feel awkward about working with you, that's your insecurity.</p>
Bingo_Bango 13
<p>Wowsers, you're going to have far bigger things in life to worry about than some friendly geeky kid who drew on your cup. I guarantee you, if you end up working with him he won't be awkward about it at all, that's your silly insecurity and he won't even think about it.</p>
Miss_080 21
<p>Are you a guy or a girl? </p> <p> </p> <p>Ps isn't barista a female bartender? <img src="../lib/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-undecided.gif" alt="undecided" /></p>
redcode5 17
<p>He is a dude and so is the barista. </p>
Leviathene 34
<p>Sounds like a bit of an overreaction... Just like those women who automatically say "I have a boyfriend", you too sound a bit like an ass. Gender aside, I think that what he did was so cool, and I would've wanted to make friends with him, regardless of his intent. That said, without any actual information, I am most likely being very judgy, so i'm sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick.</p>
Leviathene 34
<p>Sounds like a bit of an overreaction... Just like those women who automatically say "I have a boyfriend", you too sound a bit like an ass. Gender aside, I think that what he did was so cool, and I would've wanted to make friends with him, regardless of his intent. That said, without any actual information, I am most likely being very judgy, so i'm sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick.</p>
Leviathene 34
<p>Sounds like a bit of an overreaction... Just like those women who automatically say "I have a boyfriend", you too sound a bit like an ass. Gender aside, I think that what he did was so cool, and I would've wanted to make friends with him, regardless of his intent. That said, without any actual information, I am most likely being very judgy, so i'm sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick.</p>