Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML
Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML
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Top comments
Occam 0
You think that's bad, I did the same thing while eating a ****.
rukusrazor 0
Women love chocolate, women love little kids. You're like the best of both worlds.
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Comments (118)
offtheheezy 0
At least you had good intentions, I hope. But ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Sucks to be you.
oh_dee 0
Lol that has happened to me before, but never in front of people...you do feel like quite the idiot when it happens but it's definitely not FML worthy.
iKaite 0
Is three musketeers bar, is that a metaphor for something else? Roflol. YDI. Totally.
iKaite 0
why has my comment posted twice? FML. :D
KarmaHatesUs 0
Not FML worthy =[ Sorry.
lalap_fml 0
#28 what the hell are you taking about??? "First off, who takes a bite of a random stranger's candy anyway? " READ the FML.
Rht2925 0
I think that happens to the most of us :D
natasha_m 3
LOOOOOL OMG!! ewwwww =S
whiskeyloverrrr 0
#20 epic win
sLap_fml 0
today i spit my gum out into my lap while i was laughing, hahaha