Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML
Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML
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Top comments
Occam 0
You think that's bad, I did the same thing while eating a ****.
rukusrazor 0
Women love chocolate, women love little kids. You're like the best of both worlds.
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Comments (118)
fmlfmlfml15 0
http://www.whycindywhy.com/?id=y60icqt9eot7hg9l3gwzk5rsnzwp
NoBounceNoPlay 0
Grooooooooooosssss
gatorboy 0
FML has turned into an absolute shit show. Not because the quality of content has changed, it's remained the same, but because of all the elitist douche nozzles who feel the need to spew their bull shit via comments. FML does not literally mean FML, it means oh shit, something mildly inconveniencing and funny happened to me today, let me share it on a website so others can laugh at my misfortune. If everything someone posted was some life shattering catastrophe there'd be about three posts on FML and it'd be so depressing it wouldn't be worth reading. Lighten up everyone, it's only the internet.
imnutsss 0
well said, thanks..
foreverxalwaysx 0
#51 me too. And I still thought it did until I re-read the original post (after seeing your comment). LOL. I was pretty confused as to why some random girl would take a bit of some one's chocolate.
theluckygirl28 8
#10- loll but anyways, you might wanna stop your habit of drooling.... most people don't drool-- just sayinn
ohhhhshizzz 0
#28: wtf? READDDD. #20: FTW! I agree wtih #54. @OP: ROFL
sugar_bear 0
lmao!! why didnt you just smile w/o opening your mouth??
UsingLogic 0
#1, 34, 42, 44, 47, 50: "This is not an FML". Please... #25: "The website was better before" Oh well, at least it's not as bad as those who yell "Fake" at every FML Ok guys, the website is not going to change, so suck it up.
NoBounceNoPlay 0
@ #54… thank you. People get so pissy and self-righteous in the comments for no freakin' reason. It's not that serious.
goldfalsebond 0
well obviously you have some mental issues so im just going to suggest never eating again, or maybe never going out in public w/o having some sort of personal helper....