Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML
Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML
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Top comments
Occam 0
You think that's bad, I did the same thing while eating a ****.
rukusrazor 0
Women love chocolate, women love little kids. You're like the best of both worlds.
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Comments (118)
adelaide_evening 0
Too bad you weren't eating a Twix. Then time would have stopped, you could've finished devouring the candy bar, and you would've had enough time to wipe the drool off your chin. Moral of the day: Only eat Twix.
deaditegirl 0
I thought this was FMyLife, notFMyAfternoon. You were momentarily embarrassed. Get over it.
IshitCAKES 0
IM GONNA TOUCH UR PUPPY NOW!
Ohnoitslindsay 0
Take smaller bites.
Seti_fml 0
you should have finished eating the bite that was in your mouth and made light of the situation by making a joke about it. I mean if you just stand there looking like a deer in headlights its going to be far more embarrassing than if you can joke about it and move past it.
alsoelp 0
This used to be about extraordinarily unfortunate things. not your awkward social mishaps that you have to deal with for the remainder of the 20 second elevator ride.. Oh well. At least it's not as bad as everyone else's that have been completely their fault lately. I have no pity for them.
Me27 0
LMAO! I think this happens to everyone LOL
musicloverr 0
#20, i love you.
CupidSparrow 0
First off, who takes a bite of a random stranger's candy anyway? I'd have given her a glare that burnt holes through her eyeballs. Second, didn't your mama teach you not to open your mouth when you've got food in it? Gross, and gross.
iKaite 0
Is Three Musketeer Bar, is that a metaphor for something else? Lol.