Today, a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of my Three Musketeers bar. I instinctively smiled at her and chocolate drool poured out of my mouth. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I locked eyes with a cute barista and tried to flirt by giving a charming smile. I forgot I had just taken a sip of hot chocolate, so I ended up drooling a long stream of chocolate down my chin. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML
Today, while in the elevator with the girl from my office that I've been crushing on, but never spoken to, I said "aren't elevators awkward?" After a long silence, she got off three floors before our office. FML
Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML
Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML
Today, I was at a job conference. At lunch, I saw this stunning guy. At dessert time, I coughed so much that the piece of chocolate cake in my mouth went straight onto his glasses. I think it's too late to introduce myself now. FML
Today, while at Costco, I was eating a hotdog when I saw a really hot guy walking over. Trying to be sexy, I bit my hotdog cutely and winked. I ended up choking and dropping the ketchup covered hotdog all over my lap. FML
Today, I was eating at Steak N' Shake. I noticed that the cute waitress was checking me out. When I was done with my meal she wrote her number on the ticket. So, as I was walking out the door, I turned around to wave at her, and walked into a metal bar next to the door. FML
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Top comments
Occam 0
You think that's bad, I did the same thing while eating a ****.
rukusrazor 0
Women love chocolate, women love little kids. You're like the best of both worlds.
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Comments (118)
rxysurfbum07 0
Haha, the first time I read this, the twix comercials popped into my head. #20, ftw.
whudafxup 0
Charming.
kittycatgirl 0
so? your never going to see her again whats the big deal?
jpabely 0
you're a slob bro, she wouldn't have even have given you her number anyways if you can't manage to eat a candy bar, doesn't seem like your prince charming. I mean no offense just being honest
guitardedman 0
i dont know about you, but i can't resist a nigga with chocolate drippin from his face.... ughhhhh that shit gets me hard thinkin about someone drippin with 3 musketeerses CINCO DE MAYO WHO ALL IS ****** UP!!!!!!!!!! 8
Phobic_fml 14
yep, i've done that one.
AntiChrist7 0
don't worry she will only think you're a mental now.
l3tsr0ck 0
how to delete my comment??
lakehamthekid 0
That happens to me a lot.
Dr_Pepper_fml 3
lmao, I could so see this happening!!