Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML
Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, this huge wasp started flying around me. I freaked out and started running from it. Then I slipped, landed face-first in some dog poo, and got stung by the wasp on my leg. FML
Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked, I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML
Today, I went for a jog to enjoy the fall weather. I tripped over a tree root and fell face-first into a pile of leaves. As I tried to get up, a bunch of kids had gathered to laugh, and one even shouted something about, “A grown-ass man playing in the leaves!” FML
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
Today, while stocking the green beans at work, I picked up a "leaf" which turned out to be a grasshopper. I screamed so loud, my coworkers now think I'm crazy. This is only my second week here. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML
Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML
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Top comments
dontpanic_fml 32
Quick tutorial. Ninjas do: Swiftly chop bugs before they can hit face Ninjas don't: Scream and flail
Ambient25 25
Just tell them you were practicing your mosh
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Comments (87)
01Ben21 10
This happens to me probably more than it should.
JACKxRAWR 22
B-but... you lift!
RodzillaX 30
Lucky you dodged it. Look up the statistics. Falling leaves kill more people every year than falling coconuts, bee stings, and shark attacks combined.
nnnope 26
you would make a terrible ninja.
DetroitDov 35
Yeah, since when does a ninja scream and flail?
feelingold 18
OP has confused the word "ninja" with the word "idiot"
dontpanic_fml 32
Quick tutorial. Ninjas do: Swiftly chop bugs before they can hit face Ninjas don't: Scream and flail
JACKxRAWR 22
Why would you start flailing and screaming in the first place? I get flinching and stuff but that's just ridiculously over the top and IMHO OP deserved it.
Clarinetrox 19
Hmm, a flailing, screaming, failing ninja. Must have been a great novelty show for the carnival.
Enslaved 38
"Unagi"
I_Like_Dogs 28
"Salmon skin roll"
Vidrill 22
OP, you have no idea what "ninja mode" looks like, do you? Screaming and flailing is how I react to bugs, too, only I call it "little bitch mode".
eandspappa5 5
At least you went into ninja mode and not scream like a little girl mode
yryilmaz 13
Ohh.. Wait... Yeah (s)he did.