Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML
Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML
Today, I had to sit on the bus next to a creepy guy. He began pestering me with overly-sexual statements, and finally I told him I had a boyfriend. He responded with, "Tell me his name so I can track him down, kill him, and hopefully take his place." FML
Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML
Today, I met my father, who I hadn't seen since I was a baby, at Subway. He made me pay for his meal. FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
Today, I was waiting for my friend outside a restaurant when a man walked up and said, “You must be Sarah.” I said no to get rid of him. He apologized and walked away. Two minutes later, my friend arrived and asked why I was talking to her dad. FML
Today, on the train, a man kept grabbing my crotch. When I told him to stop, I got yelled at for harassing an elderly man. FML
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
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Top comments
drbobbz 16
Well, he thought you were there for a 6 inch!
JustBecausePie 12
That's ****** up on so many levels.
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Comments (79)
barfcannon 24
Persistent little bugger. It is almost impossible to dissuade a creepy old guy D: You just have to walk semi-fast and leave them in your dust. I don't know why they think they can say anything to young girls, once an old guy told me he wanted to take me home in his pocket.
PerditaDessa 38
When old guys get creepy with me I always laugh and tell them, "Sorry, love. I'd hate to break your hip," then wink. Not a one has continued to talk to me after that.
DocDrose 20
Tiny bit creepy...
notgointoeurope 11
More like very
fuggotmuggot 14
Did you tell your dad?
Le_ponderer 14
This FML makes me want to take a metal sponge and scrub the sliminess of it, off my mind. *shivers*
AirBusDriver 23
He should be reported to the authorities, pedophiles are the lowest form of life and deserve a shit-storm of legal intervention. However, a baseball bat and castration with rusty hedge trimmers will do in a pinch.
bunnylady08 13
accidentally hit the thumb down. but definitely thumbs up to you!
AirBusDriver 23
No worries, thanks for the support. We lost our sister to one and it boils my blood to hear about creeps like that.
bunnylady08 13
Just tell him you prefer women... that's what I do. Take solace in this thought: everyone dies eventually.
smokecloud_ 37
Yeah.. I've tried that. It doesn't discourage creepers. Then they want to watch...*shudders*
v8beast 4
What the actual ****
IcemistDragon 20
Can we get a follow up on if your dad did anything?
Jak0p 25
It sounds to me like there wasn't really a dad waiting outside. She just told it to the creep so he would stop.
blindkid1790 12
You should have said only if you have a foot long!
Vault_Boy 9
There are two kinds of old people: sweet and adorable, and sexual deviants. There is no in between.
HairIsEverything 15
But what about the sweet and adorable sexual deviants? FML has given us a few examples of those. Theyre the scariest of all the elderly..