Today, a car backfired as I waited for my bus and I screamed, thinking I'd been shot. The only thing more humiliating than that was the pissy underwear I had to go back home to change out of. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML
Today, I ran to catch the subway, slipped, and my pants ripped across the back. I got on the train trying to cover the hole, only to realize the train was packed with people staring straight at my underwear though my fingers. To make it worse, my phone started playing loud music and I froze as I considered which situation to fix first. FML
Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, the coach bus I was riding almost crashed. I was using the restroom at the time. The bus braked so hard, I peed all over the wall and splashed my shirt. Nobody wanted to sit anywhere near me after that. FML
Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML
Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML
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Top comments
Ethan_Anonymous 28
How bad of a town to be in to think you've been shot? FYL
badbitch23 15
Well, at least you didn't get shot.
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Comments (54)
happypenguins 24
That's awkward
awildwhisper 30
I hope you didn't miss your bus after all that.
shesaywha 19
was #1 there as well!?!
nonsensical 26
I'm hoping all this went unseen...
ertyert 12
hopefully......
thefaekitten 29
This reminds me of that one episode of Friends.
Ethan_Anonymous 28
How bad of a town to be in to think you've been shot? FYL
bstarqueen 16
West side of Chicago can do that to you.
Kiernan151 25
He lives in Bulgaria though #23.
zeffra13 31
I think if OP lived in a rough neighborhood, he wouldn't assume he was the one shot. He'd look around to see who to move away from. I'd assume he lives in a good neighborhood where you so rarely hear cars backfire, you forget they make that noise too.
pandalover69 26
Look up what's going on in Bulgaria right now. American news isn't talking about it.
badbitch23 15
Well, at least you didn't get shot.
HeatherCorinne 14
Now you know how you would react to being shot. Let's just be thankful that it didn't really happen
Chadica 17
I don't think this is the exact reaction they would have to being shot...because you know, it can kill you.
Badkarma4u 17
No now we know how op would react to a loud noise. Having a bullet tear though his body might be different
MaydayParadexx 18
That was a wild ride from start to finish
SoBeSatan 22
Wow, OP! What kind of neighbourhood do you dwell in? I hope you were able to do this discretely!
kaitlynjane 28
Why do you think someone would want to shoot you?
FSGInsainity 15
You just assumed you were shot? Rough neighborhood.
zeffra13 31
I think if OP lived in a rough neighborhood, he wouldn't assume he was the one shot. He'd look around to see who to move away from. I'd assume he lives in a good neighborhood where you rarely hear cars backfire.