Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML
Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are extremely active swingers by finding their online profile with photos of my mom with a dildo. I guess those out-of-town trips weren't just holidays. FML
Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Eir_fml 1
I'd have stopped reading before learning all of that.
afrbrunette 0
i definitely don't think 90% of girls like anal sex! ewwwww
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
occasionallyever 0
It means bent not straight or crooked you dumbass.
ydi_4_suking 20
To those people saying what's so bad about that. So your saying if you walked in on your parents doing it that you would keep on watching them
Hollywoodundead1_fml 0
no mans penis is perfectly straight. so that's fairly normal.
cameron_natasha 0
exactly what I was thinking both of youuu xD
SkateboardGirl88 11
curiousity killed the cat...
lexanianna 11
YDI for continuing to read. Other than that I don't think it was anything wrong with what you read. It's only natural. And to you stupid people out there: no, I would not like to see my parents have sex but I do talk about sex with my mum and it is not disgusting just because they are my parents.
writergirl23 19
And that, my friends, is why you should respect your parents' privacy. You just never know what gross stuff you'll find ...
youshouldleave55 3
why would you keep reading after the first.....you asked for it
_charliebrown_ 3
Way to go parents! Seriously though who cares what your parents to, did you really think they didn't have sex?
emuexport 4
Maybe his **** is bent from too much anal ???