Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, a few weeks after coming out to my parents, my mother randomly asked me, "Your father and I have tried anal sex a few times, but it hurts too much. D'you have any advice on what to do?" FML
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML
Today, I received some unwanted anal sex tips. They were unwanted because I'm not into anal sex, and the tips came from my drunk mom. FML
Today, I found out that my parents are extremely active swingers by finding their online profile with photos of my mom with a dildo. I guess those out-of-town trips weren't just holidays. FML
Today my mother, who was once shocked to realise that my older sister was having unmarried sex, told me to go and 'get some' because it's good for my health. I'm asexual. FML
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Top comments
Eir_fml 1
I'd have stopped reading before learning all of that.
afrbrunette 0
i definitely don't think 90% of girls like anal sex! ewwwww
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Comments (43)
elliekinslurvsya 0
#5, we all know it's normal, but nobody wants to think of their parents that way. it's disgusting.
mich99 0
YOUR DAD IS LUCKY
pulpfiction_fml 3
Now you know how you came to be.
xyourstruly3 0
its a horrible thing to think of .. b.c im watching teeve in there bed .. who knows when the last time they changed there bed sheets .. ew -_-
xoxcinderellaxox 0
this is why i never open other people's bedside drawer, thats the goodie drawer.
YoungE 0
should never search ur parents room and not expect to find something that would make a disturbing table conversation
laxgirl3 0
what's bent meen
VelvetRain 6
Like the guy on your profile picture
vvvvvsss 0
fyl shoot the test and burn them Like stewie did in fan guy
Zukox 0
I agree. YDI for reading it!
dabomblyktiktikk 0
your fault. you read it.