Intimacy: TMI!! - FML

TMI!!

By mystupidson - 31/08/2011 03:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said, "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

agreeclassic 36 898

vote type 1 3 977

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By Anonymous - 06/05/2023 00:00

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By Gothicbunnyx3 - 21/02/2012 01:43 - United States

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Next

TOP COMMENTS

Battledog5006 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:43

so thats where my tax dollars are going

OcampoFTW 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:42

Sounds like the average bro talk

Comments

NBS93 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 18:33

That's called diplomacy.

NBS93 0

Thursday 1 September 2011 18:33

That's called diplomacy.

rubberducky5609 3

Thursday 1 September 2011 18:35

WTF. I never knew the government talked about masturbation?

annisalove21 5

Sunday 4 September 2011 17:11

THIS CAN'T BE MORE AWESOME

whitey317 0

Monday 5 September 2011 4:54

I hear the Iraqis have good technique

Bekavera 4

Monday 5 September 2011 5:38

yes, I can see why you are sooo proud...lol

XCraig 0

Monday 5 September 2011 8:24

You should be proud! Private parts are all the rage in today's governments!

Kain713 14

Sunday 11 September 2011 16:33

What language was it?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I had yet another dream in which my mother and I had a sweet conversation, followed by her hugging me, and telling me she loves me. Then I woke up and remembered that my once-loving mother hasn’t spoken to me in five years, and her last words to me were, "I hope you die in a fire." FML

agreeclassic 1 456

vote type 1 110

Today, while buying lottery tickets, I mixed up "jackpot" and "scratch off" and asked for "$10 worth of jackoffs." FML

agreeclassic 422

vote type 1 570

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

agreeclassic 29 757

vote type 1 3 352

Today, on my lunch break, I was walking to my car balancing 3 tacos, soda and napkins. A gust of wind blew my napkins up the street. In my attempt to catch them, I tripped onto the sidewalk. The tacos landed inside a car. Its owner came out just in time to see me standing next to their dash covered in salsa and lettuce. FML

agreeclassic 310

vote type 1 160

Today, no matter what I do, Facebook won't stop showing me pitbulls on my feed. I've been nearly killed by one a dozen times in completely unprovoked attacks, even ones owned by perfectly good people, so it triggers a panic response whenever I see one. Take your ugly murder beasts somewhere else, for fuck's sake. FML

agreeclassic 429

vote type 1 477

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

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