Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out, "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML
Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, while my parents were grocery shopping, I cleaned the kitchen, swept floors, did laundry, and cleaned bathrooms, only to finish right before they got home. After dinner, my dad bitched and complained that I didn't take out the trash and he had no room to throw away his paper plate. FML
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Top comments
dayzz1 10
I think they took the term "house warming" the wrong way...
darwinism 30
No harm done. They were just celebrating that you are moving out of their house. It is good to see thay still have some spark in their sex life. But if you really want to stir the pot just say "Not again. I played this guessing game last week when the neighbour came over to say goodbye."
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Comments (109)
StanSmith2013 26
At least they didn't take a dump in one of the rooms! You know now not to ask for their help next time!
outoftown 27
You found dad's rationale.
maskedman 9
Time to pull out the black light, like on CSI.
Doortje 30
I would be pretty pissed. Obviously (well in most cases anyway, if they're still together) your parents have sex, but that doesn't mean you want to know about it. To do it in YOUR new house and then tell you about it is childish and inappropriate.
vbmg152 19
Really? It's not childish & inappropriate for kids to have sex in our house? Lol!! You guys are in for a rude awakening someday!
delicious69 5
That's awesome your dad is the man!! Now go to it them while they are out for a min..
perdix 31
So, while he should have been unpacking boxes, your Dad decided to a pack a particular box instead. ;) Anywho, I'm guessing "kitchen." Wear rubber gloves to wipe up any spilled mayonnaise (it's not mayonnaise!)
cheshireau 26
I hope your bed wasn't assembled.
PipingMouse 14
You could tell them that you had sex in their bedroom last week all over the furniture...or you could kick them out of your new house, and disinfect the rooms.
Yerdism 1
At least you did not walk in on them when they were "Doing it!"
bigtime_rocker 11
Haha!!! Funniest dad EVER!
Justin0481 5
Lol it's just payback for all the times you've had sex in their house.