Today, I went to run an errand while my parents helped unpack boxes in my new house. When I returned, my dad said to me, "I wasn't going to say anything, but we 'did it.' I'll let you figure out which room." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out, "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML
Today, I was helping my dad move into his new house. It's a 4-bedroom house and he has three kids so it's perfect. I was wandering around and noticed that the first bedroom is his, the second is my older brother's, the third is my younger sister's, and the fourth is an office. I have no room. FML
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
Today, while my parents were grocery shopping, I cleaned the kitchen, swept floors, did laundry, and cleaned bathrooms, only to finish right before they got home. After dinner, my dad bitched and complained that I didn't take out the trash and he had no room to throw away his paper plate. FML
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Top comments
dayzz1 10
I think they took the term "house warming" the wrong way...
darwinism 30
No harm done. They were just celebrating that you are moving out of their house. It is good to see thay still have some spark in their sex life. But if you really want to stir the pot just say "Not again. I played this guessing game last week when the neighbour came over to say goodbye."
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Comments (109)
HeyArnold91 8
After people have been married awhile random places spark their relationship, kudos to them for keeping it interesting
mayyberry 4
Soo.. Did you figure out which room?
Dracoboxer357 36
16- And by what method of deduction would you suggest Op use to figure it out? Sniffing counter tops? Licking bed spreads? Pestering his parents until they confess under duress? ;P Somehow, I don't believe Op would actually want to know this, and probably didn't look too hard into solving this case, Watson. ;)
DocBastard 40
You learned a valuable lesson - NEVER leave a couple alone in an uninitiated house.
slapsface 10
Lol can you reply back so I can say I've talked to doc basterd
supportcommand 17
Just tell them not to worry because you ****** ***** in their bed whenever they went on vacation. Consider yourselves even.
sugarglitterkiss 4
HAHAHAHAHA made my day!
Lucious306 7
That's kinda nasty. Good luck figuring out which room
SinghIt 1
Unlucky for you, but it sure gave me a laugh!! :D
rsaffi 6
Hahahahahahahahahaha. It's all I can say: Hahahahahahahahahaha. FYL
therealafroninga 10
I feel sorry for you, I mean, if that's ALL you can say.
iRoc46n2 4
Yea he probably has a hard time holding a decent conversation
DJKAYREZZ 4
You dad is awesome
DatEmoFurry 7
Worst game of Clue ever.
Iknowsomestuff 9
Your dad is some secret keeper. He wasn't going to say anything... but then told you right away.