Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new couch was delivered. As the delivery guys left, I came back into the living room and noticed a bad but familiar smell. I turned the couch cushions over to discover that my cat had already claimed it as her personal litter tray. The return policy doesn’t cover "cat defilement." FML
Today, I awoke to my cat with micro pellets all over him. He'd destroyed a pillow containing them, and now there are thousands of these pellets throughout the entire house. My vacuum is broken. FML
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
Today, after getting home from my morning run, I found my brand new leather couch with scratches all over it and smelling of cat piss. I don't have a cat. FML
Today, my cat used his expensive new bed for the first time since he got it last month. He used it as a litter box. FML
Today, our rodent problem was taken care of. I discovered this when my cat projectile-vomited a soggy, death-scented wad of dark fur and tiny organs onto the couch. FML
Today, my husband thought it was the best idea ever to clean the cat's litter box with the brand new vacuum cleaner instead of tipping it into a bin bag. My house now fills with the smell of warm cat piss every time I hoover. FML
Today, my cat is extremely sick and has trouble grooming himself. As evidenced by his butt. He laid on me for a while and it wasn't until a few minutes after he got off that I realized he had stained my pants. That also explains why my chair suddenly looks so nasty, and why my room smells horrible. FML
Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML
Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML
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Top comments
Witchylady 18
Cats are the best.
fsomelife 26
Take him to the vet and clean everything.
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Comments (48)
lilchica22001 22
Oh wow! Please be careful OP! Animals can suffocate by inhailing those little beans. Or they can eat them and block up their intestines. Very dangerous. As a pet owner you should be more responsible!
Eveenie 3
you act as if it was OP's fault. it's natural selection if a cat is that dumb.
casualCrysis12 3
Get the cat declawed. Simple.
texaskitty86 25
If I could down vote you more then once I would. Cats scratch so they should be declawed? That is a terrible attitude. I've owned nearly a dozen cats in my life and I've never had scratching issues that couldn't be solved by finding the right kind of scratching post and positive reinforcement.
Bibliovore 26
Did you know that declawing doesn't just involve removing the claws, it removes each toe's entire first joint? And that cats who are declawed often wind up with litterbox problems (because it hurts to stand in litter when all your toes have just been amputated to the first knuckle), making it more likely that their owners will abandon them or have them put to sleep? Also, declawed cats are a lot more prone to arthritis in later life; cats naturally walk on their toes, and losing a joint on each toe forces them to use somewhat different joint angles every time they stand and walk. Not only is declawing not simple, it's pretty horrible.
PizzaDeliveryGrl 19
I'd rather declaw you for thinking that's okay.
Winnie453 9
The scent of vomit and plastic have always been awful. Good luck.
lollypop624 11
when has it ever smelled nice? xx
AloysiusWeasley 15
Fast, easy, cheap solution OP. I got a couple of those flat wide cardboard scratching posts and an incline cardboard scratching post. My cats used to maul furniture, to the point where they could even crawl around inside it because they tore up the fabric covering so much. It only ran me around $20 for all three off a certain online site we all use. "cardboard cat scratching post", and I recommend Kong brand stuff since we use a lot of stuff from them. Get some catnip too, to help encourage him to use the new scratching posts. Really, it just takes a little bit of patience and trial-and-error.
nick3600 22
Lesson learned: dont buy bean bag chairs if you have a cat
isis_morrigan 18
get a Lovesac, or something along those lines! they are expensive, but well worth the money! they have a lot of covers for them also, some very heavy duty. you can often find them on Craigslist for a good price too. I adore mine! best furniture purchase ever! and it's holding up excellent with 3 cats, 2 of which regularly knead/scratch it, 2 dogs, and a 7 year old.
HomelessDonut 9
My beanbag (ordered a year ago) hasn't even come in yet!
horsewithnoname 6
Isn't the smell of vomit always awful?