Today, my sister shoved a fire extinguisher up my leg while I was asleep. Guess she was too dumb to realise CO2 extinguishers are minus 60°C, because I now have freezer burn up one thigh into my crotch and yes, even on my balls. The whole area has come up in fluid filled blisters and some of the skin has peeled away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
Today, I was woken by my younger sister punching me in the balls. She also pulled the duvet off, and dragged me out of bed by my feet and onto the floor. All because I ate her chocolates, which were a gift. I was left writhing in pain in my underwear right in front of her. FML
Today, my sister woke me up panicking saying our kitchen was on fire, and we had to leave. She practically dragged me out of bed and all the way to the front door. When we got outside, she suddenly kneed me in the nuts and went back inside, locking the door behind her. I was only wearing boxers. FML
Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
Today, I got a second degree sunburn everywhere above my waist, for which I've been using a medicated lotion. My roommate "pranked" me by switching the lotion with a similarly colored, very caustic acne wash. My chest feels like it's roasting in hell and is oozing pus and oil now. FML
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Top comments
AzraelAngelus 15
Is she aware that if you press charges that’s 10 years in prison?
poopface82 25
Not to mention probably a decent sized civil award.
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Comments (3)
AzraelAngelus 15
Is she aware that if you press charges that’s 10 years in prison?
poopface82 25
Not to mention probably a decent sized civil award.
RichardPencil 32
That's nuts!
Chazzster 32
I have to guess this is just the most recent act in a dreary play in which OP and idiot sister have been antagonizing each other and “playing pranks” on each other. Obviously this goes way beyond a “prank” and was dangerous. This is a classic example that it’s really stupid to get into “battles” with your siblings. You know where each other lives and what buttons to push to antagonize each other. There is no winner in a “pissing contest” everyone just gets wet.