Today, my car got keyed because I was parked in a handicapped parking spot. I'm handicapped. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone tried to break into my car. They tried to do so by jamming a key into my lock, only for the key to break. I guess the key cut their hand, because I had the pleasure of finding the person's blood all over my passenger door. FML
Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML
Today, I witnessed a car accident. Being an experienced paramedic, I rushed to the scene to see if anyone needed help. As I assessed the people involved, one of them pickpocketed me. FML
Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park my car briefly in a 'Monday to Friday only' parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to find a parking ticket stuck to my windshield. FML
Today, my car was stolen. I got it back later without the engine, any of the wheels or my brand new radio and speakers. They even took my car mats. FML
Today, my boss entrusted me with his car to run an errand, as I usually take the bus. I managed to get there and back safely before someone slammed into me while I was re-entering the lot, causing major damage. It was his wife, who thought I was a car thief. FML
Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, my car broke down. My colleague came to get me and then, later, my husband picked me up from work. We went to collect my abandoned car, but it was gone. It took 10 minutes of me panicking and thinking it had been stolen before he crumpled in laughter and told me he'd already collected it. FML
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
How do you know that was the reason?
yumsugarr 8
Didn't you have that handicapped slip out?
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Comments (139)
pinglol 5
...Have you never been to a mall? Or anything that has a large parking lot that is busy? It's usually more than 35 feet a handicapped person has to walk... and more importantly they need the wheelchair access ramps that handicap spaces come with. Talk about ignorant.
DocBastard 40
schm9400, I've been on this site for quite a while, and I can honestly say that this is one of the most asinine, abominable comments I've seen. I fully expect you to come back and tell us all that you were just being sarcastic in a lame attempt to cover your ass and not look like a complete fuckbucket, but it's clear to me that you are exactly that. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but when the opinions are as repulsive as this, you are entitled to **** yourself too.
My_Nightmare 19
I think this is the first time I've ever seen a FML staff member ask someone to leave the site. Completely made my day because YDI for being an uneducated moron that thinks that those who are disabled don't deserve closer parking spots.
kbullsexy07 1
I am so sorry!
avi1981 0
That blows. You sure you didn't just dump someone?
disney_blonde 16
How do you know that is the reason? Maybe you were driving like a douchbag or cut someone off. Maybe you were driving an expensive car and they were jealous.
FrancisMX3 6
Sue them.
Glidefedt 6
I thought the correct word was "Disabled"?
Ricky23J 0
It probably wasn't because you were inna handicapped spot. beefin with anyone lately?
KennyMcCrmick322 0
Keyers: alright we got the son of a bitch, that'll teach him not to park in handicap spots Op: wat the **** are u doin Keyer: (oh **** he's handicap) *runs away as fast as he can* fuuuccckinnggg shhhhiiitttt