Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk, saying, "Shut the fuck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
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Top comments
Fortuitous 0
That thief stole the shit from the mother in Belgium, too! Everything is linked, kids.
Freeze_fml 17
More people need to receive notes like these.
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Comments (55)
Kevinx103 0
O MY ******* GOSH.....I LAUGHED SO HARD MY BUTT HURTS
Mirjanaslover 0
Today, I was robbing a house, one of my favorite pastimes. While I was caught up in the moment i heard a horrendous sound. It made my ears blister and bleed. FML.
xspaniardx 3
Well he wanted you to know that you suck, at least he is honest right? haha That sucks OP!
BubbaDoose 0
he actually had time for a note, damn he's good!
fml_as_usual 0
You were burgularized by a mean ass honest ninja, it's actually something to be proud of.
cmac86 24
sounds like Simon Cowell and Buddy the Elf teamed up in a new robbery scheme.
schwiggidy 0
Well, now you've got an alarm system...
Jessephine 0
look on the bright side,you still can use the note as an evidence
dre_bro11 12
hmmm. I sure know if I was robbing a place I'd want quiet. so it's sorta understandable, but then again how long were you in the damn shower for if he managed to rob you
andyford 0
That's got to be the worst thing I've heard so far this week.