Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk, saying, "Shut the fuck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower and my neighbor called the police because they thought I was in trouble. FML
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
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Top comments
Fortuitous 0
That thief stole the shit from the mother in Belgium, too! Everything is linked, kids.
Freeze_fml 17
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Comments (55)
mullet3388 16
You were not robbed. Robbery is the taking of one's property by force or fear. You were burglarized. Burglary is when some one breaks in and tskes stuff with no threat towards your persons. Get it right please.