Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I was sitting shotgun in the car. A huge bug came inside, and everyone began to freak out so naturally I began to swat at it. I got the fly, but I also cracked the windshield. I paid $229 to kill a bug. FML
Today, my husband thought it would be funny to drive my car through a flock of vultures eating road kill. Since a bird hit the mirror and broke it, I now have to pay for a replacement. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad had been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML
Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML
Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML
Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML
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Top comments
AndyPurdy 31
what the actual ****
gintwinsmoore 20
were u driving that fast or was the turkey moving that slow???
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Comments (89)
emeraldisle 30
Seems the turkey was just as surprised as you are to learn he can fly.
m_warner1 14
When turkeys fly... Wait.
m_warner1 14
I'd have so many things I'd have to do if that was a pig instead of a turkey
Shadowvoid 33
Did the turkey tell you?
yellowzinnias 20
They don't really fly, but they have an awesome vertical leap and they flap a lot to hang air for a couple of seconds. That's why he hit your windshield. The same thing happened to my uncle. He said it, "exploded like a turkey bomb." :(
Weasely 11
The wild turkeys I've seen fly upwards into a tree disagree with you.
moosetracks22 10
Turkeys can fly, just not for very long distances. When they do fly can can go as fast as 55 mph for short bursts. They also sleep in trees.
gopher500 2
they certainly can fly
kirkaygri 18
It's not really flying... it's more like jumping and flapping. Kinda like the way chickens 'fly' but for a slightly longer period. Know how Mario 'flys' in Super Mario Brothers? Like that.
juturnaamo 29
Is it possible this is a domestic vs wild issue? Domestic turkeys don't look like they can fly, but I think wild turkeys do.
buckdharma 38
17- Um, were you able to find the caruncle on your um, uncle's car?
skyeyez9 25
I have wild turkeys on my property every day. They certainly can fly and even glide in the air, and very graceful looking. They fly over a canyon on my property with ease. Its not frantic flapping.
jaydots 16
hey look out for turkeys they have been known to fly
bocephus1 5
You halfway deserved it. Who in the world is old enough to drive and doesn't know turkey's can fly.
abNormal62 23
As God is my witness I thought turkeys could fly!. They're hitting the ground like with bags of cement they're going through the windshield oh my God run run run for your life
Ray_of_midnight 23
Apparently everyone else here is too young to remember WKRP In Cincinnati.
abNormal62 23
Lol I was willing to bet my house on the fact that the reference would be lost on the majority of the FMLers
EarlFug 19
Scrolling comments, waiting... scrolling... damn am I going to have to make a WKRP joke? And YES there it is. Well done, sir. Now we just need an FML of a pig painting a lobby.
SMHsohard 22
Had to scroll past a bunch of dumb comments to find the WKRP reference, but I'm glad I persevered.
koulz 12
You learn something new every-*******-day eh?
thejonac 21
nice dinner ???