Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML
Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML
Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML
Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML
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Top comments
Cortezthe1st 23
You should play along.
Trin_Tran 26
Well at least she won't be sexually active anymore ...
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Comments (83)
junkygroundhog 2
This is why aliens won't talk to us.
igg125 30
Time to get the shot gun.
PyroSam 21
Dayum. Looks like you've got some family issues to sort out.
lollypop624 11
Great parenting(!)
poopshootmagoot 2
Damn girls are ******
johntrollson 11
you should be happy he manged to convince her. watch your kids more!
thelionsmane 3
Everytime i see 13 year old sex posts they're from Europe. 'Murica.
Jburky_10 15
holy shit im 16 & still a virgin what is up with 12 & 13 year olds having sex?!?!?!?!
fantasyworld 39
Now she won't have sex anymore.
pheizer01 10
Poet didnt knowet