Today, as well as for the past two weeks, my brother has been making up songs about farts and singing them non-stop. He's 26. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML
Today, I walked in on my father and brother attempting to harmonize their farts. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, my brother tried to sit on my head and fart, except he followed through. It didn’t make it past his trousers but for a few brief seconds before he ran to the bathroom I could smell it and feel how warm it was. FML
Today, my brother started a new tradition: sending me pictures of every poop he takes. FML
Today, my brother decided it would be funny for almost every sentence out of his mouth to start with the word "hashtag". FML
Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML
Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years-old. FML
Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML
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Top comments
ahabsfan 17
Would you rather he be silent, but deadly?
ThunderLightTSV 31
How mature of him. Maybe he'll make a living of it on the internet if you're lucky.
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Comments (34)
Livingroomrock 4
I'm 33 and do the same thing all the time. I've got a nice collection going. Your brother and I should collaborate some time.